Going to college, you have no idea what the future holds for you and your friends. There is no way to know how moving in different directions will affect your friendships until it actually happens.
Just a couple weeks before the move-in day, several of my high school friends and I went on a trip to my family’s lake house. I wanted to stay in those moments forever. We were on the brink of one of the biggest changes in our lives, and we had no idea what next summer would hold for us. I didn’t want to face the reality that everyone was weeks away from going out on their own because I knew our group would never be the same. And I don’t do well with change.
“You find your best friends in college.”
That summer, I heard that adage so many times, I began to think it held some truth. I began to expect to make so many great friends right away in college. I began to expect that I would have such deep connections with people I met that my high school friendships would dull in comparison. But that wasn’t the case.
I did make some amazing, lifelong friends during my first year of college. I am lucky to have found a group of friends that share my values and that I enjoy spending time with. But I don’t feel as if I replaced my high school friends with better friends.
My high school friendships took years to develop into something truly special. I have to give my college friendships time to evolve into something as deep as the friendships I’ve had for years.
I was conflicted when I came home for summer break. How am I going to go back home for three months? Will I find the same kind of comfort and fun among my old friends? How am I supposed to leave the people I have been around for the last nine months? What will it be like in the fall, after we have been separated for so long? Will we be able to pick up right where we left off?
After the initial greetings and reunions among my group of high school friends, I was curious to see if we could fall back into our old routine.
No. It’s not the same. But that doesn’t mean it’s bad.
It’s so much better than I ever could have imagined. You learn that you were friends with some people out of a matter of convenience. You learn that some people are no longer the type of person you want to be close with. You learn that your true friends are the ones who have stayed true to themselves despite a crazy year filled with choices and change. They didn’t allow their first taste of freedom to affect their value system or sense of self.
College changes everyone. Those changes have the power to complicate old friendships. It can be sad, knowing that you will never again have the bond you once had with someone. But it also shows you who your forever friends are.
The awesome friendships I made during my freshman year of college will only continue to get stronger as we spend the next three years together. Likewise, I have no doubt that my true friendships from high school will continue to deepen over time.
We have so many memories to smile back on, so many adventures to have and so many milestones to look forward to. I am prepared to do all of that with my both my college and high school friends, as they are two different but equally important parts of my life. These next three years, it’s crucial to remember that as we transition several times between college and home, neither friend group can replace the other.
