Listen to those who are older and wiser, so why not let good old Grandpa Rick help you through writing that final paper that's really got you stressed.

Getting started is always hard, but you can't let yourself stress.

"I don't need a judgment, just a yes or no. Can you assimilate a giraffe?"

First thing's first, come up with a topic. Don't try to analyze anything yet and don't try to dig into something too obscure. Sometimes asking a simple question can help you find a topic to write about. Sometimes the most obvious topic is the best route. It might be time to talk about the big giraffe in the room.

"Quantum carburetor? Jesus, Morty, you can't just add a sci-fi word and hope it means something....Looks like something's wrong with the micro-verse battery."

Don't Make Stuff up. Once you have a topic idea, do your research and really know what you're talking about to make that paper stellar! Trust me, you might not remember the words that the teacher used to talk about a certain topic, but the professor will see right through your guess, even if it's a well-intentioned guess like our sweet Morty's.

"Wait for the ramp, Morty. They love the slow ramp."

Now that you have all of the information you need, you can start writing! Just like the slow ramp get's the Micro-verse battery aliens' attention, you need to start with a good hook to grab your professor's attention. This introductory sentence needs to be your first step to start guiding your reader's thoughts down to your thesis.

"Yeah, sure, I mean, if you spend all day shuffling words around you can make anything sound bad, Morty."

Coming up with a strong thesis statement can be scary, but it doesn't have to be. Don't think too hard about it, but don't just word vomit on the page! If it helps, you can start with a broad statement that'll act as a rough guideline for the body paragraphs, write your paper, and then come back to it at the end. It might sound counter-intuitive, but after you write your whole paper you'll know exactly how to phrase your thesis statement to support your ideas.

"Weddings are just funerals with cake."

Don't be afraid to put your own twist on things! Your teacher is going to have to read so many papers about the same thing and they'll probably enjoy a new, interesting take on the topic! But make sure it's not too far-fetched that you can't justify your statement.

"Come on, flip the pickle, Morty, you're not gonna regret it. The payoff is huge! I turned myself into a pickle, Morty!"

Get excited about what you're writing about! The more into your topic you are, the more the teacher will be into it too! But, uh, don't get carried away....

"Listen, I'm not the nicest guy in the universe, because the smartest, and being nice is something stupid people do to hedge their bets."

Be assertive when you are making your claims! Even if you are disagreeing with an author who you read in class, don't hedge yourself with "supposedly" or "I assert that..." You're writing the paper, of course, you're the one who's asserting it, so just get out with it already.

"I'm sorry, but your opinion means very little to me."

Some papers require a paragraph or so addressing the counterargument to your claim. When you're addressing this, don't forget to really explain exactly why that counter argument's validity pales in light of your claim.

"So now we're gonna have to go get more. And then we're gonna go on, even more, adventures after that, Morty. And you're gonna keep your mouth shut about 'em, Morty, because the world is full of idiots that don't understand what's important and they'll tear us apart, Morty, but if you stick with me, I'm gonna accomplish great things, Morty, and you're gonna be a part of 'em. And together we're gonna run around, Morty, we're gonna do all kinds of wonderful things, Morty, just you and me, Morty."

Sum up everything that you've done and leave your audience with a conclusion that keeps them wanting more! You also want to include a "so what?" that explains why your paper is important for more than just your GPA, which in some cases, could be how what you've written about will start a path for more research to be done on the topic in the future. ake the audience feel a certain type of way and bring this baby home!

Get Schwifty 'cuz you're done!!!!