I love writing. That is my life, in short. Since the fifth grade, I have written numerous short stories and opening chapters to books that I may never finish—or maybe I will. However, I don’t like when somebody reads what I have written. Maybe this is the way of many authors, especially those who did not become famous until their deaths (Emily Dickinson and Edgar Allen Poe, among others), but the idea of somebody sitting and reading one of my works makes my stomach churn and my heart race—and that is just the case with strangers.

Writing for Odyssey is difficult for me as I know that many people will read what I write, and I don’t want to offend anybody or hurt somebody’s feelings. But at the same time, I know that I cannot avoid upsetting somebody. This is why each article is nerve wrecking for me to submit, because I know I will upset somebody, and that thousands will read my works. The scarier part, in all honesty, is the number. The idea that something that I write will reach so many people is incredibly scary.

What if they don’t think I’m a good writer? This idea pops into my head with each article that I submit.

The fears only grow worse when the person reading something I have written is a friend or family member. I grow embarrassed, believing that they have something more important to do than to read what I have written. It’s not that my family and friends are unsupportive either; each is encouraging of my pursuit to be a future journalist/writer. It is challenging for me to accept that I possess this talent.

This is especially true with my fictional works. In the fifth grade, I wrote a 100-page book that is very similar to "Twilight": a girl meets a creature and falls in love, but must decide between this creature and a human. (I did not read or know anything about "Twilight" before writing it, I swear!) I showed this book to everybody! I read a chapter a night to my parents and brothers and even would call family from out of town to read it to them. Eventually, I moved on and wrote short stories. These, I submitted to online contests—one even got 3rd place and I was the youngest person to apply at 14. Now, I am at a muse-less point in my life where I have started to write single chapters in a red notebook and never return to the ideas behind these chapters again. I have yet to write anything long since the summer between fifth and sixth grade. The hardest part about writing shorter works is that people have time to read them, and many of my friends and family ask to read it.

When they do, they sit right it in front of me, and I remain there, worried that they will find my ideas dumb or my stories rewrites of stories that they have already read. I have never had a negative comment about my works (maybe my opinions…but that is a different story) and that just drives my nervousness farther because I do not know what I would do if I received a comment so negative that I felt I shouldn’t be a writer.

I would hope that I would stand strong as I have behind my opinions. A piecte I wrote not too long ago received such negative criticism that I questioned my abilities—then I realized something incredible about myself. If my writings have the ability to offend people, they must be well written. What do I mean by this? If my opinionated piece can cause such a disruption (including one angry Facebooker telling me “I should no longer write”), imagine what I could do with this power. My opinions only further this because I am not afraid to say what I wish and I know when I am right, or at least when I am able to stand my ground. Anybody can go with the popular opinion, blindly agreeing with what everybody says with no way to actually support it, but my ability to write and stand my ground is a power that I will not give up or stop doing.

So thank you Odyssey for allowing me to feel more comfortable with my ideas being read. It still makes me nervous, but I know that my ability to write is impactful, and that nobody can tell me not to do what I love—even you angry Facebookers!