I've tried writing books before, in middle school, and they were awful. Mainly about vampires and trying to describe love when I myself had never been in love at that point. These last few months have been trying, as described in previous articles of mine. I didn't want to worry people with talking about my feelings. So I decided to write, it started off as just notes on my phone. Until I realized I had so many that, I thought "hey, maybe I should write a book". Further solidified by my friend Brittany with her encourage to actually do and not just say I'm going to do it. I started writing in a notebook, trying to get my thoughts organized and to know what exactly I was trying to say.
As I shared snippets of poems and full poems with Brittany, and my amazing friend McKenna, I discovered I had a voice for young women trapped in a relationship so toxic it confused them. I've been in that position, I've shared it on this platform multiple times. I try to tell my friends every day that, we are strong independent women and we don't need to depend on anyone to be successful. I'm excited to dip my feet into the world of writing and (hopefully) publishing my first book sometime soon this year. I want girls to know that you can grow from the bullshit a toxic relationship puts you through. You aren't doing anything wrong, to quote Eleanor Roosevelt "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent".
I have a title and the sections laid out for the book of poetry. All of which is true, and empowering. It hurts to relive the good times when writing, and I find myself in tears more often than not when writing about the bad. I never got the complete closure I wanted with this relationship. Writing everything out is a simple way of giving myself closure I know I'll never get from the person who should give it to me.
I want people to read this book and know that it'll all be alright. You can grow from it, you never stop growing or learning. I learned my lesson, and I know how I deserve to be treated. I want people to believe in themselves and that they can do anything. Everyone is capable of greatness if they only just realized it.