I write.

Sometimes I write a lot. Other times it can vary, often depending on the flow of the words I'm able to achieve as I tap my fingertips against my computer keys. Or if I find a pencil sharpened just the way I like, I've been known to jot countless ideas down, some good and some bad. Along with these ideas can be doodles, just ask anyone who sat next to me in a class.

I found writing many years ago when I was trying to cope with the loss of my Aunt. I was young, like around middle school aged at the time. It was a couple of years after she had passed, but it just felt right at the time. Ever since it's been a hobby I have had and hid for some time.

I've done the attempts at writing poetry and failed. I was inspired to try a NaNoWriMo once but quickly found that I didn't have the ambition to write my own novel at the time. I dabbled with journalistic writing, I like it a lot, but I also like to write to just speak my mind.

I don't write to be heard, exactly, but to clear my head and sort out the puzzles of thoughts I have bouncing around my mind. I write because it lets me process things, figure out what I actually think about them and then I end up rewriting because I've changed my stance. I write because it feels right. Some people have a calling to save the world by becoming a doctor, others have a knack to sing their hearts out, I just like to find a healing for myself through words because it has made all the difference.

I've mimicked writing styles of great authors I've liked. Yea, that was keen and such, but I'll leave the classics to the classics. I struggled to wrap my brain around literary theory back in my critical theory class, and I'll just let Lacan and Marx write and think the way that they did, and I'll stay over here thinking my way and not try to confuse every little detail I read and then write about it, confusing everyone else later on.

I think that the right combination of words can become like a painting on a page, just as graceful and inspiring as typical art, but also tangible for any reader on a personal level through the lens that they read.

Writing can go along with anything raising attention on the news. It can add to a conversation and create content that furthers a conversation more and more. Writing can be an escape, an answer, a reason or a purpose, but it can be unexplainable as well.

I like to think that of all the things I've read in my life.. and of all those, those that have impacted me enough to remember them in great detail, were works by authors who were using writing as more than a career or a source of income, but as the unexplainable way. Because if I was able to find as much magic, purpose or inspiration within what I read, I can only image how incredible it was to write it in the first place.

I don't write for you, and I wouldn't say that I write for me. I write to find a purpose, and within that I hope that one day someone can read what I wrote and find inspiration within it enough to be bold and courageous enough to do something that honestly scares them to the bone, because sometimes when the words aren't flowing I fear that maybe I'm losing ways to speak my mind. Or maybe it's just not the right time to write, but either way, I believe in a cycle of the inspiration. And this inspiration, at least for me, stems from a type of fear.