I am a writer.

There, I said it. I, Robyn Balay, am a craftswoman of prose and the occasional poem. I'm not good at poetry and I've finished very few of my many fictional stories, but nonetheless I am a writer.

If I have to be honest, I've never really thought of myself as a writer. But recently, I've decided to make a conscious effort to embrace the writing life. I think I've just always been a little reluctant to call myself a writer because what if I never finish anything I start? What if I never publish anything of worth? Especially since I'm even more reluctant to let anyone read anything I've actually finished. Maybe I'm just afraid of negative feedback (which is why I only let my mom read my stuff, because she always tells me whatever I've written is good). What if I write something and nobody gets it?

I've let my fears and constant need to be liked and validated get in the way of truly embracing my craft. I know I'm good. I know I can write, so why let what everyone else might think get in the way? No one is amazing when they first start out. I know I wasn't. I can see a huge improvement from the stuff I eked out in my seventh grade writing class and the stuff I wrote for my writing workshops last semester. I've gotten jealous when I hear that some people have been writing since they were in first and second grade, when I've only been writing since seventh or eighth grade. I think, what's the matter with me? Why wasn't I writing then? Really? You're going to be jealous of someone doing something you hadn't realized you were interested in yet? That just doesn't make any sense.

This is a message for all insecure writers, myself included: none of that matters. Not finishing something doesn't make you any less of a writer. Keep writing until you do finish something. Being published doesn't make you a writer. Writing is what makes you a writer. Being published just makes you a published writer. Which is definitely nice, but that doesn't always work out for everyone. And as for negative feedback: it happens. You're not going to like everything everyone ever says about your writing. Too bad. Use it to improve. There are some truths in negative criticism, as much as we don't want to admit it. Not everyone will get what you've written. That's fine. You can't please everyone. Don't write for them, write for yourself. You're gonna suck at first. That's okay. It just means the only direction you can go is up. It doesn't matter when you started, it only matters that you started in the first place.

I am a writer. You are a writer.

Lean in.