"I would never hit a girl."
I've heard boys say that like they expect me to be impressed. Like I should fall to my knees in praise and weep, 'Oh thank God, you're one of the good ones."
Unfortunately, I'm not impressed. I don't want you to not hit me because I'm a girl, and therefore inherently weaker. I want you to not hit me because you respect me as a fellow human being and you're mature enough to have control over your emotions and actions. There's seldom a need to get physical. Self defense, sure. But someone is looking at you 'the wrong way'? Time to take s step back.
So I'm not going to congratulate you for not hitting girls. I don't congratulate my dog every time he doesn't poop on the rug. He's just doing what he's supposed to do, because he knows better.
I don't blame or hate men everywhere for saying this though. Because ultimately, the idea of not hitting girls and the fight culture is harmful to everyone. Gender stereotypes are a harmful thing, nothing new. But the concept of 'I would never hit a girl' embodies that sentiment so perfectly. It means men are supposed to be strong and aggressive. They're not supposed to have patience. Punch first, ask questions later. The shouldn't be afraid to rough someone up. As long as that someone isn't a girl. Because on the flip side, girls are weak. They're fragile. They can't defend themselves, and hitting them wouldn't result in a fair fight. And sure, there's some truth in that. The average man is stronger than the average woman. But this isn't about comparing fighting abilities.
This is about a centuries year old patriarchy dictating our underlying psyche. Men should be strong. Men shouldn't feel feelings. And women should just let the real men do the fighting. Because we're emotional and can't defend ourselves. It's not fair to yourself to live your whole life subconsciously believing this. And the problem is, most people don't even know they're doing it. We compliment little boys saying, "You're going to grow up to be so big and strong!", while we tell little girls "Look how pretty you are!" Those things stick with you, your whole life, and it's the root of sexism.
There's no one solution, just as there's no one cause (although I've only discussed one at length). I can't sit here and tell everyone to stop telling girls they're pretty and stop telling boys they're strong. All I can do it try to raise awareness. People should be aware of what's driving them to say and do certain things.
And with enough awareness, maybe someday "I'd never hit a girl" will turn into "I don't hit people on a regular basis because my masculinity is not dominated by my showing dominance over others." Unfortunately, that's just not as catchy.
