I’m the girl that fell in love with you far too quickly. The girl you never even noticed was falling. We grew closer in class and day-by-day I fell harder and harder in love with you. I read way too much into every word you said. Hanging onto them like they were hands holding onto mine. I watched over your shoulder as you drew, finding it cute and amusing. I imagined you only drew in front of me, being comfortable enough to do so. I don’t know all of the girls you drew in front of or all of the girls you actually talked to. I knew deep down, nothing serious would ever happen with us. I dreamt every night about the possibilities. Each new day with you brought new hopes. When you smiled at me, I smiled back. When you told me about something important to you, it became important to me. I had all this love to give, why not give it to you?

I fell in love with every little piece of you. The things normal people didn’t think about. Especially not someone as young as we were. I loved you before you grew into the man you are today. I loved your childish face and silly antics. I loved your jokes in class and helping you study for the quizzes you didn’t study for. I loved giving my all to you. I see now that I gave too much to you and left none for myself. I made myself self-conscious, but didn’t care. I just wanted to find someone to give all this love to. I didn’t want to love myself. I wanted someone else to love me so I didn't have to. I thought that then I would magically love myself and be happy with every flaw I saw in myself. I was so wrong, but I was young and naive. I don’t blame you, you didn’t even have an idea. When I tell you now that I had a crush on you, you smile and say you are flattered, but no one tells me they felt the same. I don't expect any of you to. Most don’t even know I had doodled their names in my notebooks and across my heart.

To all the boys I fell in love with, I am glad you didn’t fall back. When I fell in love with you, I put you above me and took myself out of consideration. I never for a moment felt not good enough for you, except when I was alone. Years of crushing and having my heartbroken taught me important lessons about loving myself. You can fall in love with boy after boy, but maybe we are not meant to. Save your time and energy for someone you can really fall for, without giving all of yourself away. The right person will take, but also give back to you. The relationship we had was of me giving and you taking, giving me nothing in return.