As I am just a freshman in college, I really don't have anything figured out. I mean, can you ever attempt to "figure out" college? Like, it's a really expensive summer camp where you learn how to do things that you'll do for the rest of your life. Fun, right? *queue nervous sweats

Well, I am obsessed with literary thought and do believe that it is my one true passion in life. That sounds pretty cliche and disgusting now that I type it. However, I always get asked so many questions because of my major... never mind that I am double majoring (yeah, you're asking why I hate myself and I have no answer for you), but believe me, I love my decision.

So, for the sake of my unwavering protection to the English community, PLEASE stop asking us these things.

1.) So, what can you do with an English major?

HAHA. What can't you do with an English major is the real question. Seriously, let me just make a list explaining all the pros of having an English major in every career field. The basic concepts of grammar, communication, and writing are necessary for maintaining a business or working a desk job. We learn how to manipulate a person, or our audience, better than a car salesman. Believe me when I say we can get the job done.

2.) Will you proofread my paper?

Okay, I actually love to proofread papers, with a few exceptions. Typically, I try to tell the person upfront that they are a truly great writer and no matter what I say, they shouldn't feel bad about their mistakes. However, I never let them see how many I am actually correcting. Sometimes proofreading papers for friends can be quite difficult because you don't want them to feel like they aren't good at what they said. I always explain that if I had a math problem that clearly had the wrong solution, I would want them to fix it and tell me what was wrong with it, no matter how stupid I felt. I know my strong suit isn't mathematics, thus I shouldn't be offended by their correction.

This isn't really a question, but sometimes can get turned into one...

3.) When people rant about how stupid the English language can be.

YES. Believe me, I know the whole "I after E, except after C" rule is ridiculously confusing. Even I get mixed up, but that is no excuse to call it stupid. English has so many rules, but it's kind of offensive when people rant about a language I care so deeply for. It's like when I rant, "Well, I get 2+2=4, but why?" That is just the way things are and they can't really be explained. Maybe there is some secret English society that determines the rules, but honestly I don't care why the rules are in place, I just abide by them.

4.) What are you working on right now?

Although this can be a quite flattering question, often times, it is not asked in a flattering way. It's more like a comment made by a snarky relative wanting to know what you're actually doing with your life. There is no right answer for this question. Either you say nothing and get judged silently about your ambition, or you answer with some substance and risk getting questioned even more over a topic that is near and dear to your heart. Perhaps you haven't been as creative lately in your works and you're fretting your choices, or perhaps you've been working on a science fiction, 400 page book that you aren't comfortable sharing. Either way, this question cannot be solved. Would you ask a scientist during his research what he was up to, or would you obey the scientific method and wait for the results? Yeah, that's what I thought...

5.) How will you make money from this?

This question sort of ties in with the first. Not every English major dreams of being a struggling author smoking cigarettes and drinking brandy over a typewriter. Not saying that I don't (sorry, relatives), but people need to change their preconceived notions on what an English major can achieve.

If you have found yourself asking an English major- or perhaps any major- these questions, it's okay... believe me, I am sure you're not completely hated yet. However, instead of taking a judgmental tone with them, take a caring stance on the idea that we all don't exactly know what we want to accomplish in life.