Worrying About Control Is A Waste Of Your Time

Worrying About Control Is A Waste Of Your Time

Sometimes, things are out of your control, and that's okay.
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There's a lot of things everyone is passionate about; school, work, hobbies, it can really be anything. And because we have so much passion for this things, we can tend to take them very seriously; whether that's sitting down for six hours a day studying for school, routinely working overtime to get everything done on time, or going a night without sleeping just to finish that one last page. While we can have that much passion for something, it would do us well to remember that not everyone else will have that level have passion, or even seriousness, as we do.

One of my biggest passions is writing; whether I'm writing a paper for class, a short story for my own amusement, or even an article for The Odyssey, I have an incredible amount of fun doing it. But what brings me the most amount of joy is when I can write my own worlds, creating people and places that all have a multitude of stories to tell. Honestly, I think that's my calling in life, to create these stories, regardless of what they say; I just have so much passion for it that I really cannot see myself stopping anytime soon!

Of course, along with this passion comes an equal amount of seriousness; if I am writing something, then I am sitting down and doing it god damn it, and nothing is going to stop me otherwise. And as a result, I expect other people to have the same amount of respect and seriousness for my work that I do, because what's the point of making anything if people aren't going to give it the time of day? Now, most of the time, I don't have this kind of problem...but there have been a couple of times where this has been the case.

A little bit of backstory first, however. I run a role-playing game with a large group of friends; I create the world and story, they create their characters and have fun in my world and story. I absolutely love it and have put a fair amount of hours into crafting everything to my expectations, even if it can be mediocre at times. However, my friends to tend to come into the game and screw everything up, but that's completely okay! In fact, I routinely come into the game hoping that that will happen, it's what makes the game so much fun!

The only thing that I ask of my players, however, is to be just a tad bit serious about the game sometimes; whether that's them listening to a very dramatic scene that I put together, or them just getting their work done so we can play the game, all I ask is that they show a tiny bit of respect for the amount of time and effort that I have put into this campaign, if you will. Fortunately for me, more than half of them do this, and it warms my heart to see it...however there are still some problem people.

I won't go into any specifics, as there is a moderate chance that they might read this article in the near future, and I don't want to offend anyone. But some of these people...just give me massive headaches! They don't take my work seriously, at all. Their actions, body language, and conversations both inside the game and outside show that they couldn't give two shits about what I've done, and honestly, it irritates me to no end.

"But Jake!" you might say, "It's just a game! Why get so worked up and offended about it all?" Well, random reader, I agree with you to some extent; this whole thing is just a game, and getting worked up about it is like getting worked up over your favorite characters from a TV show not getting together, or getting worked up over the title of a book because it's slightly offensive. However...try to see things from my point of view.

I have sunk almost a years worth of work into this game, and as a writer, I would like to see my work to the end; I don't give up halfway through and call it quits, if I make something, I WILL finish it. Which makes the whole situation even more irritating! They look at this game and think that it doesn't matter, that it's fine to just never, ever, take seriously. Thankfully, the majority of my players are not like this; they know how much time and effort I've put into this, they know that I am absolutely in love with the characters I've made; they know this, and their actions show it.

It's just...amazing to see this blatant disrespect. Even when their friends are taking everything seriously, they still see it as something that isn't worthy of their attention. And I've wrestled with this for some time now; do I bring it up to them? Do I ignore it and let the other players get frustrated at them? (Because believe me, it's happened.) Do I just cut them out entirely and say, "Tough shit, you should have taken things more seriously"? It took me a while but I finally came to the best solution: let it happen.

Now, why would I do something like that? After all, I just got done ranting about how frustrated I am at them. So why, in my sane and rational mind, would I just let it continue? Well, the answer is simple: life isn't fair. I can't control what people are passionate about, I can't control what people take seriously, I can't control any of that! So it isn't worth my time and energy to be frustrated.

If I can't change it, what's the point of thinking about it? Luckily, in my situation, those who do take the game seriously have said in not so pleasant terms that they are getting pissed off by how they treat the whole thing. They all claim that I don't have do any of this for them and that they should show some respect for the amount of time I've dedicated to the game. Thankfully, it has worked on one of them, but not the other; but the important thing is, is that it's not me who's doing the talking.

I guess what I am trying to get across is that not everyone you meet in life, be it your friends or family, will give you the amount of seriousness you think you deserve for something. And that's okay. You can't control how they feel about, the only thing you can do is to tell them, or in my case, have other people accidentally tell them, that you don't appreciate their lack of respect.

Maybe they do a complete 180, and apologize for their behavior...maybe they still just don't give a shit and simply refuse to take anything you do seriously. Whatever your outcome, just remember...you can't control every aspect of your life. Once you start to practice that mantra, life gets a little bit easier.

Cover Image Credit: hgcommunications

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30 Things I'd Rather Be Than 'Pretty'

Because "pretty" is so overrated.
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Nowadays, we put so much emphasis on our looks. We focus so much on the outside that we forget to really focus on what matters. I was inspired by a list that I found online of "Things I Would Rather Be Called Instead Of Pretty," so I made my own version. Here is a list of things that I would rather be than "pretty."

1. Captivating

I want one glance at me to completely steal your breath away.

2. Magnetic

I want people to feel drawn to me. I want something to be different about me that people recognize at first glance.

3. Raw

I want to be real. Vulnerable. Completely, genuinely myself.

4. Intoxicating

..and I want you addicted.

5. Humble

I want to recognize my abilities, but not be boastful or proud.

6. Exemplary

I want to stand out.

7. Loyal

I want to pride myself on sticking out the storm.

8. Fascinating

I want you to be hanging on every word I say.

9. Empathetic

I want to be able to feel your pain, so that I can help you heal.

10. Vivacious

I want to be the life of the party.

11. Reckless

I want to be crazy. Thrilling. Unpredictable. I want to keep you guessing, keep your heart pounding, and your blood rushing.

12. Philanthropic

I want to give.

13. Philosophical

I want to ask the tough questions that get you thinking about the purpose of our beating hearts.

14. Loving

When my name is spoken, I want my tenderness to come to mind.

15. Quaintrelle

I want my passion to ooze out of me.

16. Belesprit

I want to be quick. Witty. Always on my toes.

17. Conscientious

I want to always be thinking of others.

18. Passionate

...and I want people to know what my passions are.

19. Alluring

I want to be a woman who draws people in.

20. Kind

Simply put, I want to be pleasant and kind.

21. Selcouth

Even if you've known me your whole life, I want strange, yet marvelous. Rare and wondrous.

22. Pierian

From the way I move to the way I speak, I want to be poetic.

23. Esoteric

Do not mistake this. I do not want to be misunderstood. But rather I'd like to keep my circle small and close. I don't want to be an average, everyday person.

24. Authentic

I don't want anyone to ever question whether I am being genuine or telling the truth.

25. Novaturient

..about my own life. I never want to settle for good enough. Instead I always want to seek to make a positive change.

26. Observant

I want to take all of life in.

27. Peart

I want to be honestly in good spirits at all times.

28. Romantic

Sure, I want to be a little old school in this sense.

29. Elysian

I want to give you the same feeling that you get in paradise.

30. Curious

And I never want to stop searching for answers.
Cover Image Credit: Favim

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Photoshop, Filters And #WokeUpLikeThis Proves That Instagram’s Platform Advocates Deception Without Even Meaning To

Is your life on instagram depicted the same way it is in reality?

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Do you ever scroll through your Instagram and get aggravated by how amazing the pictures are? Or get aggravated by how perfect the people are….. Or how joyful the people seem to be in the pictures displayed? All these questions build up and make you wonder why your life isn't as cheerful as those figures seen on social media. Well, every time I view Instagram on my devices, all I see are perfect images and perfect moments captured. I often wonder why MY life isn't as impeccable and why I'm am not having as terrific of a time as the pictures seem to portray.

Thoughts bubble up in me, and I find myself asking: is this how everyone really feels, or is it just me?

I've come to the conclusion that people who post cheerful and seemingly admirable pictures on social media are the ones who are deceiving themselves and fooling me along with. If the moment was so tremendous, why was there a phone out? If the moment was so wonderful, why did they choose to take a picture of it instead of immersing themselves at the moment? Was it certainly a perfect time? No. Then it genuinely wasn't the time of your life.

The picture seeks to depict the time as perfect, but that wasn't what actually occurred. In reality, the people would have been crying or just sitting around the whole time, but in that exact split second of the picture, they were able to display a flawless image that people who scroll through Instagram desire to experience with their friends.

After experiencing moments that people capture on a mobile device at parties and casual hangouts, I have come to a realization that not only do people deceive others by faking happiness on social media, but they also deceive others into thinking their life is outstanding. In that picture perfect moment, it wasn't as joyful and valuable as it seemed to be.

The only thing they did was take pictures to depict a favorable time, but was it REALLY a breathtaking occasion or did you just take pictures to make it seem as if you did? The picture was taken to allow others to view it as the best time ever and have others believe you had fun. You would definitely say it was fun, but in reality, all you did was take pictures to make it seem fun.

It is insane to think about the countless times a person goes through their feed feeling upset about their life by simply viewing someone's picture and assuming they are having "the time of their life." They don't even think about how the amazing picture is, but the moment wasn't.

This must come to an end. Though some people would argue and say they want to share aesthetic and pretty pictures on their social media, Instagram isn't for this. The purpose for Instagram is to post pictures with friends and family along with funny memes to keep Instagram lively, though Instagram isn't being used in this context. People need to essentially begin living in the moment instead of worrying about getting an Instagram picture. It isn't worth the hassle.

If you aren't truly having fun in life then what do you have to show off? Why not genuinely enjoy the moment, and worry about capturing a picture or two later? It is crazy to think about how people only care about how others view them. They don't care about how they view themselves or whether they are fulfilling their happiness. This society is definitely based on a sense of belonging, of being accepted into the community.

At the same time, people viewing these images begin to lose self-esteem because of the flawless group of friends they see on their Instagram feed. The thought of making yourself happy and enjoying the moment is diminishing as people begin to deceive their happiness. So, let me ask again: is the fun shown on Instagram reality, or is it just a deceptive fantasy?

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