Worrying About Control Is A Waste Of Your Time
Lifestyle

Worrying About Control Is A Waste Of Your Time

Sometimes, things are out of your control, and that's okay.

44
hgcommunications

There's a lot of things everyone is passionate about; school, work, hobbies, it can really be anything. And because we have so much passion for this things, we can tend to take them very seriously; whether that's sitting down for six hours a day studying for school, routinely working overtime to get everything done on time, or going a night without sleeping just to finish that one last page. While we can have that much passion for something, it would do us well to remember that not everyone else will have that level have passion, or even seriousness, as we do.

One of my biggest passions is writing; whether I'm writing a paper for class, a short story for my own amusement, or even an article for The Odyssey, I have an incredible amount of fun doing it. But what brings me the most amount of joy is when I can write my own worlds, creating people and places that all have a multitude of stories to tell. Honestly, I think that's my calling in life, to create these stories, regardless of what they say; I just have so much passion for it that I really cannot see myself stopping anytime soon!

Of course, along with this passion comes an equal amount of seriousness; if I am writing something, then I am sitting down and doing it god damn it, and nothing is going to stop me otherwise. And as a result, I expect other people to have the same amount of respect and seriousness for my work that I do, because what's the point of making anything if people aren't going to give it the time of day? Now, most of the time, I don't have this kind of problem...but there have been a couple of times where this has been the case.

A little bit of backstory first, however. I run a role-playing game with a large group of friends; I create the world and story, they create their characters and have fun in my world and story. I absolutely love it and have put a fair amount of hours into crafting everything to my expectations, even if it can be mediocre at times. However, my friends to tend to come into the game and screw everything up, but that's completely okay! In fact, I routinely come into the game hoping that that will happen, it's what makes the game so much fun!

The only thing that I ask of my players, however, is to be just a tad bit serious about the game sometimes; whether that's them listening to a very dramatic scene that I put together, or them just getting their work done so we can play the game, all I ask is that they show a tiny bit of respect for the amount of time and effort that I have put into this campaign, if you will. Fortunately for me, more than half of them do this, and it warms my heart to see it...however there are still some problem people.

I won't go into any specifics, as there is a moderate chance that they might read this article in the near future, and I don't want to offend anyone. But some of these people...just give me massive headaches! They don't take my work seriously, at all. Their actions, body language, and conversations both inside the game and outside show that they couldn't give two shits about what I've done, and honestly, it irritates me to no end.

"But Jake!" you might say, "It's just a game! Why get so worked up and offended about it all?" Well, random reader, I agree with you to some extent; this whole thing is just a game, and getting worked up about it is like getting worked up over your favorite characters from a TV show not getting together, or getting worked up over the title of a book because it's slightly offensive. However...try to see things from my point of view.

I have sunk almost a years worth of work into this game, and as a writer, I would like to see my work to the end; I don't give up halfway through and call it quits, if I make something, I WILL finish it. Which makes the whole situation even more irritating! They look at this game and think that it doesn't matter, that it's fine to just never, ever, take seriously. Thankfully, the majority of my players are not like this; they know how much time and effort I've put into this, they know that I am absolutely in love with the characters I've made; they know this, and their actions show it.

It's just...amazing to see this blatant disrespect. Even when their friends are taking everything seriously, they still see it as something that isn't worthy of their attention. And I've wrestled with this for some time now; do I bring it up to them? Do I ignore it and let the other players get frustrated at them? (Because believe me, it's happened.) Do I just cut them out entirely and say, "Tough shit, you should have taken things more seriously"? It took me a while but I finally came to the best solution: let it happen.

Now, why would I do something like that? After all, I just got done ranting about how frustrated I am at them. So why, in my sane and rational mind, would I just let it continue? Well, the answer is simple: life isn't fair. I can't control what people are passionate about, I can't control what people take seriously, I can't control any of that! So it isn't worth my time and energy to be frustrated.

If I can't change it, what's the point of thinking about it? Luckily, in my situation, those who do take the game seriously have said in not so pleasant terms that they are getting pissed off by how they treat the whole thing. They all claim that I don't have do any of this for them and that they should show some respect for the amount of time I've dedicated to the game. Thankfully, it has worked on one of them, but not the other; but the important thing is, is that it's not me who's doing the talking.

I guess what I am trying to get across is that not everyone you meet in life, be it your friends or family, will give you the amount of seriousness you think you deserve for something. And that's okay. You can't control how they feel about, the only thing you can do is to tell them, or in my case, have other people accidentally tell them, that you don't appreciate their lack of respect.

Maybe they do a complete 180, and apologize for their behavior...maybe they still just don't give a shit and simply refuse to take anything you do seriously. Whatever your outcome, just remember...you can't control every aspect of your life. Once you start to practice that mantra, life gets a little bit easier.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Lifestyle

10 Etsy Father's Day Gifts Under $40 To Support Your Dad And Small Businesses

Stores may still be closed, but the internet is still wide open. So, while you're already shopping online check out Etsy for your Father's Day needs and support small creators.

As June approaches, Father's Day is coming up quickly with it. While they may not ask for much, it's always a nice gesture to give your dad something special to share your appreciation. Although, at the same time, it might be difficult to find the perfect gift either for their humor or that will be practical.

On a normal occasion, it's simple to find a gift for your father figures in stores, but for the times we're currently in our access has become very limited. Small and independent businesses need help now more than ever, so what better time than now to support them? If you're still stuck on what to give for Father's Day, look to this list for some inspiration that won't hurt your wallet too much.

Keep Reading... Show less

The worlds of beauty and fashion often collide, whether for good or bad. In both, underrepresentation has always been, and remains to be, a major unresolved issue. After the recent killing of George Floyd, many people are rightfully enraged, compounded by the fact his death in police custody wasn't an isolated incident.

Police brutality against Black people is not new, and isn't going away till we start dedicating resources to fighting it. Many of us, as individuals, have only begun in the last week scratching the surface of what it means to educate ourselves on race, historical race relations, and how to be an ally to the Black community.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Feel A Lil' Better: Because You Can Still Connect While Disconnecting From Social Media

Your weekly wellness boost from Odyssey.

No matter how good (or bad) you'd describe your health, one thing is for sure: a little boost is ALWAYS a good idea. Whether that's reading a new, motivating book, or listening to a song that speaks to your soul, there are plenty of resources to help your health thrive on any given day.

I don't know if you've heard, but there's a lot going on right now, particularly in relation to George Floyd's death, Black Lives Matter, and public protest of racial injustice in the United States. While we can all agree that this deserves conversations, change, and actionable good, social media arguments with Great Aunt Linda are not where social change begins and ends. Spending too much time scrolling through your phone has never been healthy, but now it's even more addicting — what does that one person from my hometown say about this? How can I further education within discussions? Am I posting enough?

Keep Reading... Show less

I don't know about you, but reading is at the top of my to-do list this summer... especially with all the social distancing I'll still be doing. If, like me, you're hoping to pick up a romantic page-turner (or a couple dozen), here are 23 romance novels by Black authors you'll absolutely LOVE reading.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

12 Ways To Help The #BlackLivesMatter Movement If You CAN'T Protest

We can all do better. Join the fight against racial injustice.

The current state of the world has created the perfect storm for change in America. But with change there is always risk. Although protests have sprung up all across America, COVID-19 is still a very real risk. Luckily, you can help bring about change from the comfort of your own home. And no, I don't mean just by posting a black square on social media.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

True Self-Care Is HARD, That Face Mask Isn't Actually Going To Solve Your Problems

There's a line between self-care and self-destruction.

Anyone who hasn't been living under a rock for the past few years has seen something somewhere about self-care whether it was on Facebook, Twitter, or their Instagram feed. Oftentimes it's pictures of celebrities or influencers sipping green smoothies or slathering on mud masks with #selfcare. It's posts like these that made me realize that "self-care" has become the ultimate buzz word, soaring in popularity but in the process, it's lost most of its original meaning. It's time to set the record straight and reclaim the term.

Although self-care has been around for quite some time, within the past few years it's been misconstrued and commodified as our capitalist society tends to do with things it thinks can be profited off. Self-care is now being peddled as something that can be bought and sold on the shelf at Target rather than something that takes real work to achieve. This fake self-care movement is not only enabling people to over-indulge themselves, but it has created a crutch for people to avoid the responsibility of taking true care of themselves. Instead of doing the work that needs to be done, many people fall into the trap of rewarding themselves for doing nothing at all — this can quickly become an unhealthy coping mechanism, especially with corporations cheering us on (to buy their next product). Long, hard day at work? Just grab your third iced coffee of the day! Fight with your SO? Buy that 50-dollar face mask, it'll make you feel better! This is how self-care becomes self-sabotage and self-destructive.

Keep Reading... Show less

Minorities are consistently under-represented in our day-to-day lives, notably in the world of fashion. It's likely you're looking for a way to support black artists. Whether that's the case or you're just a fashion-lover in general, these brands aren't just some of the best black-owned fashion brands — they're some of the most innovative brands of our time, period.

From luxury staples to fun accessories and loungewear, these brands aren't just stunning names you should definitely be following on Instagram, each honors the founder's roots in unique ways with the power of storytelling through artistic expression that manifests in pieces we can't wait to wear.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

10 Home Items You Need For Stress Relief, On The Days You 'Literally Cannot'

Fill your home with peaceful, calming coping mechanisms.

I'd like to think that 2020 is teaching us a lot. Or will teach us a lot. Or will be a story we tell at parties one day. Ultimately, this year has been — and is probably going to continue to be — a bit of a mess.

At the beginning of the year, Australia was on fire and we mourned the death of Kobe Bryant. Then, coronavirus (COVID-19) took our spring and shut us in our homes, inciting panic over public health and sparking political upheaval at every decision made by local and federal officials alike. Now, a week after George Floyd's death at the hands of Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin, a nationwide conversation is reignited with protests regarding racial injustice in the United States. There is an enormous amount of tension, hurt, and change that is upon the American people.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments