It’s the big, tell-all moment. You’re home from college for the summer and are making the first attempts at getting back into the swing of your hometown life. You underestimated how difficult this could be. You haven’t seen your hometown best friend in months, and the two of you have been living separate lives, somehow surviving without each other. Yes, you kept in close contact while at school, but you’ve also made new friends. You’ve made new best friends. And without a doubt, your hometown bestie has done the same.
Where do your loyalties lie? One has known you practically your whole life, was there for you during those dreaded awkward years, and knows you inside and out whether you like it or not. The others just met you less than a year ago, yet you know these are some of the most important relationships you’ll ever have and already feel as if you’ve known them for years. Two worlds are about to collide, and you just hope you don’t get caught in an explosion.
My hometown best friend, Kathleen, and I have been attached at the hip since fourth grade. We guided each other through the hell that is middle school, and came out stronger than ever. We participated in many of the same activities in high school, and even after hours spent together during the school week, we would often hang out all weekend as well. She was my shoulder to cry on, my laugh when I needed it, someone to be goofy with, someone to have life talks with, and someone to love and who loved me. We promised each other that even though I was going out of state for school, we would remain close. We wouldn’t be that friendship duo that lost contact with each other as soon as we left for college. For the most part, nothing changed between us. Despite being 350 miles away, Kathleen was one of the first people I went to with news, whether it was an A on a paper or that I found out my crush ended up liking me back. She was the one I could go to if I needed an outside opinion, since she wasn’t stuck in the so-called “Centre Bubble.”
Despite our continued best-friendship, both Kathleen and I branched out and made new friends while at college. I had the opportunity to visit her at school over one of my breaks, and got a glimpse as to what her new life was like…her life without me. I met her group of friends, and while I liked all of them and was glad Kathleen had met them, I couldn’t help but feel just slightly jealous and out of place. I didn’t get their inside jokes. I didn’t know who these other people were that they kept talking about. I wasn’t familiar enough with the campus to understand their stories. All in all, it was off-putting. Kathleen was living in a different world now, and I wasn’t a direct part of it.
When I returned to school, I realized that my situation was not much different than Kathleen's. I too had made new friends at school with whom I shared my days, stories, and secrets. I also had a new life…and Kathleen didn't share it with me. Within the first week of school, I had met two people who would change my life. Since early September, Katie, Carolyn, and I have been an inseparable trio. We opened up to each other almost immediately, and our mutual trust grew more and more each day. Before long, we “defined the relationship”: we were best friends. I eagerly agreed to this title without a moment’s hesitation.
Of course, the three of us were best friends! We tell each other everything, we saw each other through the first transitional months of freshman year, we feel as if we’ve known each other for a lot longer than we have, and seem to completely just get each other. The three of us believe we embody the phrase: “You go to college to find your bridesmaids.”
But what about Kathleen? What about the countless years we spent together, the laughs we’ve had, the hard times we fell on, but picked each other up from? After some panicking, I realized that it is possible to remain best friends with Kathleen while also establishing a best-friendship with Katie and Carolyn. The two relationships, while remarkably similar, also have distinct differences, making it possible to have the best of both worlds.
Your hometown best friend (in my case, Kathleen), will always hold a special place in your heart, no matter how much you might drift away from each other due to distance, conflicting schedules, and life getting in the way. Growing up as best friends is a bond that can’t be broken. You know each other’s families like they’re your own. You were by each other’s side on the first day of high school, on graduation day, and every day in between. You know her almost as well as you know yourself, and she can read you like a book. No distance or amount of time can take away the countless moments spent and memories made together.
Your college besties didn’t know you during your grade school years, but that doesn’t make your relationship with them any less meaningful. I know I will be able to count on Katie and Carolyn and trust them with just about everything. We will be by each other’s sides throughout our college years—which some say are the best four years of your life- and hopefully in the “real world” after graduation. I know I’d be absolutely lost without them.
It is no surprise that as time goes on, people change. We grow up, we grow apart, we fall back together. However, through it all, we know we can count on our best friends to be there for us. So here’s to friends, new and old. Whether we met them when we were seven years old or not until we made the leap to college, our best friends will always be some of the most important parts of our lives. You might go for days or weeks without talking, but as soon as that door is opened again, it’s as if nothing changed. These are the relationships I am blessed to have, and that I know will last a lifetime.
