From a very young age, I've always cared about others and how they are feeling and I've found it extremely hard to hurt others or fail to meet their expectations. As I got older, this made my life exceedingly more difficult because the world will take advantage of you. So I tried hard not to care, and I put up this facade that I didn't care what anybody thought of me. However, deep down I cared entirely too much and I was harboring a lot of hurt inside.
I'm not one of those people who can be friends with a lot of people, you are either my friend or my acquaintance, there's no in-between when it comes to me. So allowing people to become my friend, especially in a short period of time is a big deal to me and a lot of people don't understand that. Especially because when I decide to be your friend that means I'm putting in my all and I expect the same back from you. That doesn't mean that we have to hang out all the time, but I expect you to be honest with me about our friendship and not be tearing me down behind my back.
I especially don't appreciate pity friends, I absolutely loathe the idea of somebody being friends with me just because they feel sorry for me, I'm a big girl and I can accept the fact that not everybody in the world is going to love me. So I hate when people start acting weird about the friendship like if I'm annoying you or you don't wanna be my friend anymore, just tell me because I don't want to bother you with my friendship, I'd rather find somebody who truly values it.
Maybe one day I'll stop caring so deeply about my family and friends and I won't care to please them. However, I think it's depressing to live in a world where your friends and family do the bare minimum for you and nothing else. This world is already getting so distant from our relationships with others and I hate it. With all the social media around, we are so distracted and in some situations it causes us to lose trust or hope in the world around us. I miss the days when you would just sit around with your friends and have conversations instead of wondering if they "liked" your post or not.
We've gone from caring deeply about others to just caring mostly about ourselves and this perspective needs to change. The computers and phones aren't our friends, but the people behind them are. So make plans with your friends or do something special for them because our life is short. I think we should share us much love as we can while we are alive. Caring too much and doing too much for others sometimes causes me pain, but at least I'm feeling and experiencing the world around me.
