As everyone -- especially Gen-Xers and Baby Boomers -- know, us Millenials have a spiritual connection with our phones. Any distance being put between our hands and immediate access to social media warrants swift action in the form of forceful eye-rolls. As a result, any changes in our cellular devices speak volumes to our character and affect our every-day lives in ways you could never imagine without being a part of this phenomenon. After all, it's not like its the 80s, where sending a courier bird was standard.
Now knowing all of this, you may be able to understand just how difficult it can be to clean out a phone and do the unspeakable: delete apps. I know, it sounds absolutely horrific, but pull up a chair made of participation trophies and let's see what process we can take towards getting this done...
1. Admit you have too many apps
It's not exactly the phone user that figures this out, but the phone, itself. The person using the phone will be riding the high of a million hollow promises to try every app they download, and their phone has to say "No more". This will most likely be followed by denial and saying that the phone must be mistaken. How could someone have possibly filled up 64 GB with a few pages of apps and fifteen thousand Spotify playlists?
Note: for Android users, at this step you can get a micro-USB card and expand the memory of your phone so as to delay this problem for a few weeks; iPhone users will have to deal.
2. Shed off the small stuff
The second step is still supported and bred by denial of the truth. The phone user first chooses the smallest and most insignificant of apps to delete. Even that hurts, but it can be done easily. Little do they know, it's like sipping on kombucha instead of chugging that sucker and later bragging about drinking it: you're taking small steps into something that will suck for a while, yet refuse to sprint and be done with it.
3. Go through the games you haven't played in a month
The trick here is to find the target. For iPhones, start making those apps shake; for Android, enjoy owning a superior device. Games are 90% of the apps on my phone, making them 91% of my life-blood. Go through every version of Angry Birds that you have, and pick out the one where you've already 3-star'd every single stage in. It has nothing more to give you. Get rid of it.
4. Begin therapy
This is the most important step. A deleted app will, absolutely guaranteed, result in a void in your life. As with many issues, it's best to talk to someone when this happens. Replace the old app when you feel ready to move on. Until then, learn to love your phone as it is.
