"Why do you have mosquito bites on your head?" (Referring to my recent breakout.)

"I HATE PROTEIN."

"Can you carry me? My legs just broke right now."

"I can count to 20. So, like, I'm a lot smarter than you."

"If I was the teacher, I would let me eat play-doh. So, you should give my 'snack' back."

"How old are you? '18.' Well, can I come to your funeral? It'll be pretty soon."

"I like your shorts. The pink is SO CUTE. They show off your knees and your sunburn."

"I don't need to take naps anymore. I'm a grown-up. Those are for kids." (From a 4 year-old)

"Why do we have to wear masks? 'Because your gross. And the ronavirus.'"

"Noodles make my legs tired."

"I want the blue bike. (2 red bikes are available.) The red ones have diseases."

*Playing house* "Mom! Dad! Oh no! I turned into a dinosaur in the shower!"

"My doggy is from Walmart." (Collar says 'Cabella's' in all caps and is BOLDED.)

"My vacation got cancelled because there is dead fish everywhere. They got coronona."

"Are the white spots on my pretzel seeds? Can I grow a pretzel tree in my backyard?"

"You are not letting me nap. You're breathing too loud. Can you stop for a little bit?

"Why do you look like that? Did you even brush your hair?"

"Why are you always here? Do you not have any friends besides me?"

"EVERYONE QUIET! I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT... I just farted. You should smell it."

"Big kids have such an easy job. It's stressful being a kid."