"Throughout your life, what is an important piece of advice or lesson you learned that you would want the younger generation to know?"

I work in a skilled nursing facility, and I meet and get to spend a lot of time with my lovely, elderly residents. Out of curiosity, and to also build a stronger, personal connection with them, I love to ask them the question above. And I've gotten a variety of answers, ranging from beautifully inspirational to silly, yet oddly useful.

Here are a handful of my favorite responses:

1) "Don't get married too early just because you feel like there's a timeline."

Many of us feel like the clock is ticking or somebody is going to chase us if we're not married by a certain age. Maybe it's family. Maybe it's friends. But regardless, there's a lot of pressure to be on the same page as your peers or people around your age. Not because anyone's actually telling you "Hey! Get married, it's almost that time", (although some people may be), but because we don't particularly enjoy the feeling of being left behind or being left out. Many of my residents lived in a time where they married early, some married out of arrangement and obligation, but surprisingly, most wished that they had waited. Some marriages didn't work out in the end. Some did, but had incredibly tough beginnings. The consensus was to wait until you're ready; don't jump into something because you feel the pressures of time closing in on you because, well, it's all in your head. Be loving and devoted to yourself, before you commit to loving someone else for forever.

2) "Before you decide someone is right for you, you have to travel with them for a prolonged amount of time. True colors come out when you're on a long vacation from the planning to the packing to the actual get away. You'll see everything."

This one truly floored me because well, I had never thought of it before. More or less, you would want to travel with your significant other for fun and a romantic getaway, but I had never realized that it could become an assessment of compatibility. But once this particular resident explained it further, I realized the reality behind it. Dates are great, but they're a moment of time. While you hope that they would be genuine upfront during these meetings, whoever your meeting may continually put up a filter or mask to appear more favorable, hiding their candid personalities. When travelling together, you can learn a lot about who you're seeing from how and what they pack, how they unpack, how they plan (or don't plan) out the trip, how they want to spend their time, how much they compromise on excursions if there's differing opinions. Do they prefer walking to destinations to be part of the locals or do they prefer taking vehicles to the direct tourist spot? Are they able to actually take a break from work or do they bring work with them? How will they act when things don't go the way they planned (which almost always happens during vacations)? Do they like trying new foods, or sticking with their preferences?

This particular woman found that her boyfriend at the time couldn't stop working for the entire week, even when they were on "vacation", and she ended up having to do everything alone. She made the most of it, but she realized that she couldn't see a future with him, if he couldn't leave work, at work. And after that discovery, she insisted every single long term boyfriend she had subsequently to travel with her for a week or two, until she found someone she was truly compatible with. It was the best, most memorable vacation of her life.

"It was like the pieces of the puzzle finally clicked. We argued, but about whether we wanted to paraglide or snorkel on this day or that, whether we wanted to jump in the pool or in the shower. I also ended up forgetting socks, and he always packed extra. He forgot toothpaste, and I brought a whole tube. Instead of freaking out about not packing well, we both laughed it off. Oh, it also ended up storming for a few days of our vacation. He really stepped up, and came up with indoor things we could do instead. He didn't push activities on me, but he gave suggestions and we made the decisions together. I knew he was the right person for me. I saw what kind of husband he was going to be during that vacation."

And well, 70 years later, they're still married and cracking up with each other.

3) "Money really isn't everything. I've had money, and I can really tell you it didn't make me happy at all."

This particular resident was a chemist who travelled around the world, working with renowned teams, and eventually went on to be part of a group that discovered something valuable. (She didn't go into details.) Her husband also worked with her, so with their incomes and profits combined, they were extremely wealthy. The following explanation really resonated with me. She stated, "The thing with money is once you get fixated on the numbers, you work more to get them up. But when you work more, you become less human. You sacrifice your humanity for those numbers." Their marriage suffered, even though they had high end cars and brand name clothes. One day, she and her husband were hit with reality. Their house was robbed when they were both at work, and due to the change in government, the wealthy were being targeted and stripped of their land to give out. She fled with her husband to America with what they could salvage of their things. With the monetary conversion, they discovered that they weren't wealthy in America, and that they had to start over, build a new life in this new country. But she ended up truly believing that things were supposed to happen the way they did so she could turn away from her obsession with money. The unfortunate event saved her and her marriage, and she doesn't want any of us to make the similar mistake and lose precious time. "My greatest regret is not realizing that money was meant to be used for life sooner. I made my life about making money instead of making money to live life."

4) "Massaging your scalp as soon as you wake up improves circulation, and prevents headache."

On a lighter note, this adorable man decided to share his technique to preventing headaches with me. I had mentioned my head was pounding a little, and he gave me some insight into his morning routine. "I've been doing this since I was little. It's been passed down from my grandparents to my parents, and I can say, I have never had or experienced a headache in my life." Interesting, right? My curiosity was piqued so I asked for a demonstration. Basically, when he wakes in the morning, he takes care of his bathroom business for a fresh start to the day then he spends a few minutes massaging his forehead, temples, and scalp. He adds a little pressure to each of those spots at first, pressing his palm into the forehead, the temple, and scalp alternately for 5 seconds then releasing the pressure. He repeats this 5 times, and goes on to do circular massages with his thumb for 30 seconds at each location. His family's reasoning behind it is that these actions serve to improve blood circulation in order to prevent headaches, despite stress. Now, I'm a big fan of research and plausible sources, so I can't guarantee that it's applicable to every single person, nor do I know if there's a true correlation. It may even be psychological, a placebo effect, but I have been trying it for a few weeks now... and I haven't experienced a headache yet *knock on wood*.

Regardless though, it feels really darn good, so I would highly recommend it. Except don't lay down when you do it, cause you will 100% fall back asleep.

5) "Record everything."

I got this response a lot. Many of them wished that they had more keepsakes from their pasts. But pictures weren't as easy to take, save, and print as they are now. But all those who responded with this piece of advice said if they could, they would spend the money to get more pictures taken or drawn of them, their friends, and family. They would want to save all of their ticket stubs, one or two of their old toys, etc. "It's a piece of your history, yes, but it's also part of a larger history. Times have significantly changed from when I was a kid. I wish I could show you how it was back then somehow. That's why record, record, record. So in the future, you can show others, you can show yourself, you can remind everyone of how far we've progressed...or regressed."

6) "Take care of your friends and family, you never know when you'll need them to take care of you."

The true testament to how much you've touched people's lives is whether they will reach out to you in your time of need. I've met countless of family members, friends, and family friends that have told me how my patient had changed their lives or helped them significantly. Now don't get this quote wrong, it doesn't mean take care of as many people now and then expect them to return the favor in the future. Take care of them with a genuine heart. A little kindness can have a deeper impact than we'll ever know. And who knows, it may come back to you in an unexpected way.

One of my patients told me about how she always housed the son of her neighbor because he was afraid of being left alone afterschool. His parents both worked so she would end up making him dinner, and helping him with homework on weekdays. When his parents went on business trips or worked weekends, he always stayed over her place, and she taught him how to wash dishes, bake, showed him classical movies, etc. She thought of him as a son, and treated him as such, wanting the best for him, wanting him to realize his own potential. Many, many years later, he ended up being in charge of her surgery, and even helped cover some of her medical expenses as a sign of gratitude for guiding him during his childhood. She could never forget what he had said to her, "I wouldn't be where I am now if it weren't for you."

7) "The little things build up to create bigger happiness."

This is pretty self-explanatory, yet such a complicated concept to live by. We live in a society of instant gratification and of aesthetic appearances that attempt to magnify the success and happiness in our realities. We look for the grand moments and the big events, in order to feed our happiness. But we often forget that happiness can be found in the littlest things. You don't have to wait until a specific date to be happy. Happiness is all around you, you just have to want to look. "As I got older, I realized that the little things were what made me happiest. Like fresh sheets, just out of the dryer. Sunshine. Cookies. Hearing from my family."

8) "Life is short...even if we've existed long. So do more than exist."

This really hit me, because it's the cruel reality the younger generations continue to face. During our younger days and even now, we believe we have all the time in the world to accomplish what we want. But when you think about it more closely, we don't live for most of our lives. In the beginning, we just exist. We depend on others until a certain age. Then when we get to the age where we can truly live and choose how we want to spend our lives, we are bound by society, schooling, and the pathways that define "success". And it's not a path everyone wants to tread, yet we all get swept up in the busyness of our day to day activities. So even though we exist for all these years, there's only a certain small window where we can truly live. So as my patient so eloquently said, "Do more than exist."

Hopefully, some of these stories and pieces of advice have resonated with you, and hopefully, they'll end up resurfacing in your memory when you need these words the most.

Wisdom born from experiences can never be replicated, but wise words can still provide us insight and guidance that we can take with us as we stumble through life, as these elders have.