I know that there are nights where you go to text me for advice at some ungodly hour, and I’ve fallen asleep. I know that sometimes it upsets you, I know that sometimes it causes you to do things you regret, and honestly I’m sorry for all of that. For the nights that the phone keeps going to voicemail, and the texts go unanswered until morning, here are words of advice I always want you to remember.
Stop apologizing when you aren't wrong
I know you’re just trying to make things better. I know you have an overwhelming urge to patch things up with people as soon as you can. But for your sake, you can’t apologize every time there’s a fight and you aren’t the one to blame. When someone has wronged you, do not apologize for feeling wronged. You let them realize what a mistake they made. If he/she is really your friend, they’ll apologize for making you feel so poorly, and if they’re not, then you don’t need them. You are giving the same people the right to come back and hurt you again and again.
Don't feed into your bad feelings and fears
This one is probably the toughest one to follow; even I have trouble taking my own advice in this department. I know what it’s like to have these nasty thoughts and anxieties every once and a while, but you are stronger than that. When these feelings come on, distract yourself. Watch TV, write, sing, or blow up my phone...do something that isn’t self-destructive or that will make you feel worse. You’ve got this. I know you do.
Be careful who you give your heart to
This isn’t just romantic. It goes for everyone you meet. I know that sometimes you may give too much people who don’t deserve it. I know sometimes you trust people, who then turn out to not have your best interest at heart. I know that this is just in your nature. You’re a good person with a big heart, but sometimes you need to take a moment and think about who has hurt you before, and who will hurt you again. Before you go telling that girl about what happened tonight with the guy you’re seeing, think about if she has spread rumors about you before. Before you go out of your way to help that guy for the 4 billionth time, think long and hard about if he’s just using you. Please, save yourself from people who treat you poorly.
Don't give boys the power to hurt you
We are at an age where we are looking for love, in a hookup culture that almost forbids it. Finding a diamond-in-the-rough during this period of time may seem exhausting. Sometimes things don’t work out; the supposed "good guys" turn out to be the worst guys for you. I know you are quick to fall for people, and that is not always a bad thing...but please don’t give your all right away. The minute you give a guy you’ve just met the power to hurt you, they start to abuse it. It’s a sad reality that I myself have faced so many times. My dad always told me that the best thing a girl can do is say "no" sometimes. Trust me, the minute you tell a guy no, your world changes. If you say no and they’re interested in YOU as a person and not just a sexual conquest, they will keep trying to see you. If not, then it’s not your loss...it’s theirs.
You Have The Power To Change
This is a broad one. You have the power to change your day, your mood, yourself...but you also have the power to change larger things like your surroundings, your life-path, and the people you associate with. Basically, what I’m saying is that if you don’t like something, you can change it. Most things are temporary if you want them to be. If today is a bad day, you have the power to do something that changes your mood. If you don’t want to be home, you can take a road trip to hang out with me. You have the ability to make things the way that you want them to be, even if that seems a little unbelievable. You can change the person you are, the book your reading, the place you live. The power is yours!!! Go out there and take it!!!
I know that this doesn't cover everything. But any other problem you have, you can always blow up my phone--I’ll wake up eventually. Just remember that no matter what happens, I love you so much and I only want the best for you! I hope this list helps you, even if it's just a little.
