You told me I care too much.

You told me to "stop holding onto my high school dreams, it’s time to fucking grow up.”

You said I was a “worthless piece of shit human being.”

“Kill yourself,” you commanded, “You should have done it in high school.”

But guess what? I am back and you will no longer be inside my heart or my mind. I am better than I have ever been and stronger than you will ever be. You see, I have a little thing called faith inside my heart that keeps me thriving. No matter how much shade you throw my way, I will not break. Not anymore.

So here lies my goodbye, as well as, the things I have contemplated, but never said to you:

You rely on marijuana as a daily crutch to get through life.

You claim I have no common sense…well where was yours when you started smoking cigarettes? When you bitch about literally everyone on social media? Oh, and let’s not forget the fact that you DROVE DRUNK when you came to see me.

You cheated on, lied to and manipulated your ex…and you STILL let her come back straight into your arms.

You think I am just a dreamer. Hell yes, I am a dreamer and steadily making those dreams become reality.

You held me in your arms and you let me make that big decision…because deep down, some small part of you cared.

Has it ever occurred to you that I made the first move on you in nearly every situation, yet never once asked you on a proper date? Or how I somehow came back to you when I was at my lowest points of my own heartbreak?

Maybe that is because I have always known you simply aren’t good enough for me. I think you knew that as well. The moment I discovered you were a cheating liar was the moment I knew you would never be my man. No, for the love of God, I am not crazy…I am just not afraid to call you out on your bullshit.

I pity you. I really do. Perhaps the reason you lash out at others is because you do not love yourself.

When certain people like me intimidate you, you turn their secrets and their flaws against them; you do your best to make them feel like absolute shit because that is how you view yourself. I bet you take one look in the mirror and you hate the man staring back at you. Those beautiful blue eyes I used to be obsessed with are dulled by lust, greed, and insecurities.

It’s such a shame because some people truly thought you were a decent human being and desired to love you. You’re right; you won’t change. At this rate, you will remain bitter, lonely and an arrogant son of a bitch for the rest of your life.

Not long ago, you expressed how you “just don’t know what really being happy is.” I pray that one day, you will wake up with peace inside your heart, allowing yourself to be satisfied with who you are, and not some mask you disguise yourself with.

Don’t pretend like you never showed me compassion, because at one point, you did. You even admitted some personal things; but when it comes down to it, you don’t have the balls to admit it directly to my face. Why? You can’t handle fully loving another person if you refuse to love yourself first.

Sometimes, I wonder what ever happened to the goon of a hockey player I had a crush on sophomore year? The one who tried to make me laugh by saying random things; the one who called out my last name in the cafeteria and madly waved. The one who got a friend from another state to text me and pose as your girlfriend to mess with me, twice.

The one who would do anything to prevent people from noticing the mesmerizing looks and sexual tension between us; concealed by the efforts to tease me and grab my attention somehow.

Hell, even the four separate encounters we had within the last year and a half still come to me as a shock. Each time I saw you, I felt an electric spark that shook me to my core.

I longed to understand the darkest, deepest parts of you. I wished for you to see the good I had once seen in you. I drove myself insane wondering why are you the only human being to ever have this effect on me.

You intrigued me ever since the beginning, but God only knows why I have felt this way for you.

Just when I feel myself getting lost in a fantasy of what could have been, I snap back into reality and realize that guy I thought I knew is gone, and he may never come back. I realize that even though I deeply cared about you, none of it matters anymore.

Why should I let someone so heartless interfere with a life of another whose heart is full of love?

For months, I mourned over how I could possibly let you inside so easily; how I allowed your volatile behavior to be over-looked, simply because I wanted to uncover your mystery. It has taken a long while to swallow my pride, but I forgive you.

Thank you for reminding me of the type of guy I should never be with and showing me the broken road to the one I was meant to be with.

Thank you for being my inspiration for dozens of poems and assorted articles; writings that have gained me countless admirers, and proving that I have solid potential in this field.

Thanks for even being a lesson learned for me.

Without you, I would have never been able to become this resilient, nor would I have the power and poise to write this letter.

You taught me that words are merely words; you choose whether to take them personally or not. Actions speak louder than words - never forget that.

Go ahead and tell all your friends I’m crazy, I wanted a relationship with you, or that I should end my life; in fact, I dare you to.

One day, you will look back and realize how much of a dick you were and regret how poorly you treated those who loved you. Maybe then will you notice how rotten your core has become; you are the one who is dying….and there is nothing I can do to save you.

Finally, for the first time in five years, I am completely free from your trance.

I have the most loving, faithful boyfriend and the most supportive friends and family. It is about damn time I set your memory free and move on with my life, for good.