Whether you are fresh out of a relationship or have never even been in one, this one’s for you. You might be feeling scared or a bit intimidated about embracing the single life, but I am here to tell you to wake up and smell the pumpkin spice latte. It's time to own the hell out of being single.
Look, I get it. Being single is not easy. Everyone around you is practically engaged while you are still trying to figure out how to get through the week in one piece. It can be frustrating and annoying, and sometimes you consider joining a nunnery. But rather than mope around and feel sorry for ourselves (much like our exes would want us to), I think it is time for us women to truly embrace the single life and immerse ourselves into its ever-empowering qualities.
Here are my three tips for being single AF and loving it:
1. Stop the relationship timeline
Let me set the record straight: There is no-one-size-fits-all for getting into a relationship. Often times, we think its weird if someone is 22 and never been in a relationship. We set expectations for ourselves. Just the other day, I was listening to my friend talk about her relationship timeline: “I want to be married by 27 and have kids by 29, which means I need to find someone by 25." Who else can relate to this? Don’t get me wrong, it is fine to set goals in your life. But when life decides to throw you a curveball and these plans aren’t panning out, we are left feeling upset and tend to always blame ourselves.
Stop thinking that a relationship needs to happen at a certain time in your life for you to be happy. It’s more important to be committed to someone who treats you the way you deserve. If it takes you until you are 30 to find that person and be ready for that commitment, then so be it! Don’t let the fear of your unfulfilled relationship plans hinder you from living your life. I recommend we all stop feeding into the ridiculousness that is a relationship timeline. #YouDoYou
2. Be selfish
We are often pressured into thinking that being single means something is wrong with us. We internalize, internalize, internalize. But did anyone stop to even consider that maybe we are single because we want to be? Maybe we don’t want to be in a committed relationship just yet because we want to take time for our hearts to heal from the last one. Or maybe, just maybe, we just aren’t at the time in our lives where we are ready to commit fully to someone. All in all, it is OKAY to WANT to be single.
Girls, take your time and be selfish. Now by selfish, I do not mean be a horrible person, but rather, take the time to discover what makes you happy. Focus on being a better person. Whether that means getting ahead in your career, learning to be a better friend, or even stepping out of your comfort zone. Do it because YOU want to. You will come to realize that taking this time to be selfish allows you to establish your own happiness. Love yourself and know your worth. What is more empowering than that?
3. Don’t stress and have fun
Relationships are definitely not easy. You suddenly have another person to make time for and worry about in addition to your already hectic life. They are hard work! Of course, there is nothing wrong with being in a healthy relationship, but unless you’ve found that person, why not embrace being single? Go out with friends, flirt, dance on a table, date multiple people, or have a glass of wine and binge-watch your favorite show. You aren’t tied down, so go out and have some fun!!!
Ladies, just because you’re single doesn’t mean your life is over or that something is wrong with you. Us single ladies need to stick together and focus on all the amazing and empowering benefits of being single. When you feel you are ready to put yourself back out there, you will know how to create your own happiness and not depend on your partner for it and that is the best feeling in the world.
Let’s reclaim the single life and own it!
