Women Expect Men To Balance Respect And Romance But Neither Know How

Women Expect Men To Balance Respect And Romance But Neither Know How

Respect and romance are not the same, but they can be.

Relationships are a commitment with another person you find more significant than yourself. It is a selfless act that puts your partner before yourself. What makes a relationship worth the time and effort is the mutual understanding and exchange of thoughts, words, and actions while noting the differences that rest between each other.

Emotions should be expressed, discussed, and of course respected but a relationship shouldn't become a therapy session, or one void of romance, all the time. The balance lies between woman's tenacious charm and man's obstinate routine.

Traditional relationships will treat couples as men and women but dating culture today feels less consequential, if not responsible, and the selfish irony is that a relationship only matters when it affects one partner over another without the other's complete knowledge. The expectations of a woman should not be so different from the expectations of a man if it means being with each other.

The problem for men and women is that their expectations fall short of reality because they attempt to be a fantasy. No man and no woman wants to be any older than they will be and there's nothing wrong with maintaining your boyhood or girlhood. For a relationship to develop well and good, there has to be a certain level of genuine, reciprocated maturity.

Ladies, no matter how hard you try, he's not going to be a swimsuit model from a cologne commercial that gets you. Guys, she's not going to be a sex-crazed cheerleader that prepares your every meal.

What we have in mind for the ideal partner is always going to be a smidgen of that fantasy, if at all. Fantasy is superficial desires you see in your partner that can never be true unless that partner is willingly or unknowingly superficial.

Luxuries too often are confused with priorities which is the moment someone becomes careless, superficial, and selfish. To enjoy luxuries, you have to fulfill your priorities, otherwise you will suffer the consequences that come from putting luxuries first and priorities last whether you're ignorant of those consequences or not.

Respect and romance cannot be faked. If they are, the way one siphons someone for his or her benefit will show. This is not a relationship and is a selfish, one-sided relationship at the very least. Women and men either misconstrue or confuse respect as romance, romance as respect, or some other definition of each by mistake.

Romance is knowing what you want and is a sentimental endeavor. Respect is knowing what you need and is a reasonable endeavor. Women are more capable of romance or asserting their feelings and understand respect as a result of romance. Men are more capable of respect or doing what is practical and understand romance as a result of respect.

Women think romance is respect or a need while men think respect is romance or a want. Both can teach the other what they're missing but it does not happen without acknowledging that respect and romance work in tandem, are separate, but strive for the same goal that is a relationship.

Respect does not mean appeasing the personality of your partner. Romance does not mean giving into wishes in spite of yourself. There is no romance without first introducing respect and one cannot expect to receive respect when romance is hurried and expected first.

To balance respect and romance, men and women must turn expectations into mutual as well as individual and reciprocated cyclical goals to ensure the idealized becomes the realized.

A relationship built on respect and romance is requited love. Once that's established, there's nothing you won't know about or can't expect from each other.

Cover Image Credit: Huy Phan

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Ladies, It's Good To Be Honest With The Boy You Like, Please Share Your Feelings

No matter how scared you are.


As girls, we're often told that we need to be chased, and we need to be pursued and that the guy needs to make the first move. And even if we do want to tell someone how we feel, it's terrifying to take that first step because you don't know how they're going to respond. Maybe you'll scare them off, maybe you'll lose their friendship, or everything will be awkward for a year and a century.

Well, it's true — it is terrifying.

But I'm here to tell you that it's OK to be honest, it's OK to be share how you're feeling, it's OK to be bold. Even though it's terrifying.

I recently had the experience of sharing with a boy that I liked him, and let me tell you I was nervous. I literally couldn't sleep and my hands were shaking and my heart was pounding. I honestly thought I was going to combust. I had no idea how he was going to react, but I knew in my heart (and from the Lord) that I needed to share how I felt. I'm a big fan of honesty. I hate games of trying to figure out how somebody feels and what this or that text means.

So, I took the step and I told him how I felt.

I told him that I sometimes thought of him as more than a friend and that I valued his friendship and just wanted to be honest. I told him that I wasn't expecting anything in return and wasn't trying to overwhelm him. I told him that whatever his response was I could handle it and hoped we both were mature enough to move forward as friends. Yes, I was scared out of my mind... but it went well.

We're still only friends. But I have no regrets.

Because not only does he know how I feel, but I know how he feels. I don't have to constantly stress over what this or that means. And luckily for me, he was a guy who could handle the truth and talk about his feelings.

Ladies, I know it's scary to be so vulnerable and risk getting hurt. But don't be afraid to open your heart. God will open and close the doors and lead you to the right place. All you can do is be yourself and be honest with yourself and the people around you. Maybe it doesn't go well, maybe it all blows up and you're disappointed. Well, then it's time for that door to close. Who wants to be with someone who can't handle an awkward conversation every now and then?

Be honest with the people you care about. Open your heart and take a chance. And give the rest to the Lord.

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