Society has created an outrageous norm: guys are praised for their sexual conquests, seen as "gods" for having lost their virginity at a younger age or been with a certain number of women, while women, on the other hand, are slut-shamed. We are bred to believe that our bodies are meant to be hidden away until we are in a serious relationship and dedicated to one man, serving the sole purpose of pleasing your husband, and bearing children.
The fact is, women want and crave sex just as guys do, society has just prevented us from embracing our bodies and desires and forged a sentiment of guilt whenever a woman does indulge in pleasure. Why should I feel ashamed for "hooking up" with another person outside of something serious and committed if it is exactly what I wanted? Yes, we should avoid drunken mistakes, and always be mindful of how we use our sexuality, but this does not mean that we can't take pleasure in casual sex, just as guys are glorified to do so. Our bodies are designed for sex, constantly pumping hormones that give us that "tingly" urge. Shouldn't it be seen as wonderful that a woman may be so aware of herself and confident enough in her own body and desires to go out and get what she wants? Sure, sex is capable of many levels, both profound and shallow. It can be transformative and unitive, a beautiful connection between two souls, madly in love, but it is also capable of being merely physical: a great stress relief, endorphin booster and just simply fun! So long as we're all being mindful, safe and smart, where's the harm?
I think as a society we need to stop revoking from women, the power to choose. If women were allowed to express and embrace their sexuality without being socially punished, maybe we would see a drastic decrease in sexual assault, because we would stop being seen as helpless dames, or some sort of forbidden fruit. Maybe, if women were empowered to just be, in a sense that is equal to that of men, we would see a decrease in sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy. So much of what surges these issues is the fact that we are uneducated. It is seen as promoting sex, if we teach our youth how to behave safely. Maybe men feel permission to use women, and women allow it, because we were never taught to expect otherwise, or to want more for ourselves. " Sex is bad, don't have it," is sort of the lesson that society stamps women with.
"We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are," as stated in Beyoncé's song Flawless. Because society has not empowered women to choose and embrace their sexuality, they hold complete control over how we are perceived and labeled in every sense: how we dress, how we walk, how we speak, who we interact with. Because society holds that power, when I go out wearing a low cut top and tight shorts, I am labeled as promiscuous, a slut, "she's asking for it." Not once is it considered that I dressed myself that way because it made me feel good, because I just wanted to. No. Society is able to objectify my body and my choices into a sexual toy, simply because we as women aren't able to define ourselves sexually. This has to stop. Just because you can see her thighs, does not give you permission to verbally assault her. Just because she hangs out almost exclusively with guys, not does mean she is "slutting it up." And just because a woman has sex with another person, that does not make her easy, or a "skank," it is because she chose to.
Women, it's time we claim our power.
