Feminism

Ladies, You Are Capable And You Are Worthy

Don't you ever forget that.

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"Don't feel like you owe someone because they do something nice for you."

A friend said this in the middle of our conversation over dinner. I had honestly never thought about this comment before but I thought it was so true. She started to elaborate by giving an example: If you're on a date and a guy buys you a meal, are you expected to give him something in return?

Is society telling us that we have to always get something in return, especially in a relationship? My friend said she believes that this is something really important for people, especially girls, to hear. I've heard many times when girls have been in relationships and have faced this dilemma. Why is there pressure for something to be given in return? What for? Can't a nice gesture be enough?

Although I agree that relationships that are supposed to be 50-50, is it really ok for relationships to feel pressure to reciprocate feelings or material things? When does it become acceptable or possibly unhealthy?

It then occurred to me that this feeling women have stemmed from a lack of respect from other people, especially men. This idea is relevant in the beginning stages of a relationship or even working as a female in a male-dominated field. It comes down to feeling like a woman needs to prove something in order for them to be seen as worthy or capable.

Another example involves a relationship between a male breadwinner and a female housewife. If the man is seen as the provider, why is it not as equally accepted when a woman runs the household and maintains a stable living environment for the rest of the family? If a male enters a female-dominated field, it is not as shameful for the male if he messes up because people don't question his inability to do something, but rather it's passed off as an accident. My other friend in engineering said that she feels this pressure every day to not mess up in front of her male and female peers because she knows that the attitude toward women in the field can be worsened if she makes a mistake. If she messes up, it's because she is "incapable", not because it was an accident. So, how do women win and command respect?

In order for women to command respect when it is not likely to be given, it's crucial that we not let our own morale sink. We should be proud to stand up for ourselves, rather than feeling like we've done something wrong. When we see other girls being disrespected or put down, we should try to show our encouragement and respect rather than staying silent.

Nevertheless, this isn't something a few people can solve by themselves. My question to you is, why do we let women feel this way? How can we change this?

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40 Small Things That Make College Students Happy

It doesn't take much...
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1. When class is canceled.

2. When the coffee shop you stop at five minutes before your 8 a.m. has a short line.

3. Coffee, coffee, coffee.

4. Open note tests.

5. Or even better, take home tests.

6. The unofficial assigned seating process that that takes place after the first week or so of classes.

7. Thursday nights. (because in college, Thursday qualifies as the weekend.)

8. Sales.

9. Or once again, even better, free things.

10. Specifically free food.

11. Dogs.

12. Dogs on campus.

13. Tailgates and Saturday afternoon football games.

14. Finding an already completed Quizlet for your exam.

15. Having an extra 30 minutes for a nap, and if you're lucky, an hour.

16. Netflix.

17. When your roommate takes out the trash.

18. Weekends after test weeks.

19. The rare blessing of a curve on an exam.

20. Getting out of class early.

21. How in college, it is socially expectable to wear a t-shirt everyday.

22. Being able to walk from class to class or eat in the dining hall without having to see anyone you know. (and thank goodness too because you probably don't look too good.)

23. Crossing things off of your to-do list.

24. Your best-friends that you make in college.

25. A full tank of gas.

26. Seeing a new face everyday.

27. Crawling back into bed after your 8 or 9 a.m. (or after any class that ends with a.m.)

28. Care packages.

29. No cover charges.

30. When adults tell you that it is okay that you have no idea what you want to do with your life yet. (regardless of what parents or your advisor may say.)

31. Pizza.

32. Finding out you weren't the only one who did poorly on the exam.

33. Deciding not to buy the textbook, and never needing it.

34. Finding the perfect gif to express how you're feeling. (Michael Scott just get it.)

35. Weekends at home because...

36. Pets.

37. Mom's home cooked pie and Dad's steak dinners,

38. Spring Break.

39. Road trips.

40. When it finally starts to cool down outside so you can show up to class dry instead of dripping in sweat.

Cover Image Credit: Abigail Wideman

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Sometimes, Having A Crush From Afar Is Better Than Acting On It

Sometimes, just the idea of something is better than the reality.

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I've been in college for almost a full year now, and I have seen a lot of new people. There are so many boys here that I have talked to, seen, or even just heard about. With this comes a lot of crushes.

I've been known to get crushes fairly easily. Whether it's because they were nice to me, if they play a sport I like to watch, or even if they're just hot, I have been known to fall very easily into the trap boys put out there.

In college, it's been very easy to act on crushes that I've had. In high school, if I had a crush, I would suppress it so deep down that no one ever knew about it. My way of showing someone I liked them was ignoring them or being mean to them, which obviously didn't work out in my favor.

Now that I am in college, I feel a lot more confident to make a move on someone. Sometimes they reciprocate it, sometimes they don't and I look stupid. Is this a better plan than what I had been doing in high school? Maybe, maybe not.

Either way, I mess things up for myself quite often. I always embarrass myself in front of crushes that I have and then get nervous and ghost them. Does this make me a jerk? Absolutely.

One crush I had I ended up hooking up with one time and he was really weird after that and he just wanted to hook up. I take responsibility for hooking up with him on the first night, but I thought that this could lead up to us talking, which it obviously wouldn't. I learned that day that in order to find my someone, I had to move past the people that only wanted me to hook up.

I obviously have stopped doing this due to the fact that I make myself look dumb and I know now that I don't always have to make the first move.

I liked making the first move because it really made me feel powerful in a sense. This was my way of switching the gender stereotypes and I loved it.

However, I have learned that whatever comes will come. Being laid back when it comes to relationships has NEVER been my strong suit. Seeing all my friends hook up with boys and date boys has always made me feel inferior because the attempts I made were either short-lived or never happened.

From that point on, I have decided to stop acting on the crushes I have. Whatever comes will come and I will find my perfect person one day. Whether that's tomorrow or ten years from now, I know he'll come. Until that happens, I still want to have fun and enjoy my college experience. However, I will not be acting on every single crush I have anymore.

Sometimes, just the idea of something is better than the reality.

Your imagination is something that you need to keep throughout your life because without it, the reality of life will set in and it might just eat you alive. Keep dreaming about that boy in Math class and that boy on the Baseball team and think of any scenarios you want. Your perfect someone is waiting out there for you, and he'll be here soon.

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