I think it is absolutely ridiculous that we are still in a time where girls wearing certain clothing are considered as girls asking for it! Does that make sense to y'all?
Because it doesn't.
Why am I going off on this? Well, let me paint you a picture. I was on the line in Starbucks. Yes, my basic ass wanted a venti iced caramel cloud macchiato, which they didn't have by the way. A story for another day.
Anyways, while I was on the line, I heard these two guys talking. Now I wasn't purposely listening to the two guys with their frat boy tanks on. I was skipping through the songs on my phone when I heard the disgusting remarks these guys were making. My ratchet Bronxite alter ego was rearing her ugly head as I stood there trying not to punch the boys in their faces.
The two boys, yes, boys, they are not mature enough to be called men yet, were looking through their Instagram feeds. One of them, a blonde, stopped on a girl's picture. His friend, the brunette, peeped over his friend's shoulder to see what the blonde was staring at so intently. The girl was wearing jean shorts in her photo, her long, tan legs on display.
"I'd hit that, she's practically begging for it with this photo," the brunette said laughingly.
UM, EXCUSE ME? SHE WAS WHAT? UM, BOY BYE!
What if she was hot and wanted her legs out? What if she was just, I don't know, ENJOYING THE NICE WEATHER? What if all her clothes were in the laundry and that was the last thing left? What if she was confident enough in herself to post a picture of herself in shorts?
What if it was for herself?
Before I could stop myself, I said, "Are you in middle school? Are you still going through puberty?" The words fell off my tongue and entered in the space between us. We were the only two people in line, so the air grew thick with tension as the boys stopped all their movements and looked over their shoulders at me.
At that moment, I was ready. Vivica, from the Bronx, was ready to be unleashed.
The barista, however, interjected and yelled next to the two boys. The moment of hostility gone and evaporated like it was never there in seconds. The boys got their drinks and immediately left without a word.
In 2019, the idea of consent and the fact that we still have to tell people that no means no is absolutely astonishing. Where are the strides that the brave women have made in the past to defend themselves gone? Since I've come to college, I've been trying to figure out why I still see RAs making their hallway boards with topics dealing with consent. The fact that rape culture is even a thing doesn't make sense. A woman should be allowed to feel comfortable in her own skin without the approval of someone else.
The problem is that we are allowing this never-ending cycle of oppression to continue. We aren't holding the right people responsible and we are letting them off the hook with a slap on the wrist.
Earlier this week I was at a talk about toxic masculinity and what the speaker said resonated with me so much. She said, "The #MeToo movement shouldn't even exist. We are making movements toward something that should already be in existence."
And she's right. Why are we still struggling to change something that shouldn't have needed to be changed? I didn't know my body was for the use of someone else's enjoyment and pleasure. Why must I confine myself with the things I wear and how I look because it might make someone else react?
AND WHY ARE WOMEN CONTRIBUTING TO THIS BEHAVIOR AND SLUT SHAMING EACH OTHER?
It's one thing when a man does it, but when another woman does it, the cut is a little deeper. Instead of sticking together, we are attacking each other. I understand if you don't want to be labeled a feminist because of the all the negative stereotypes that engulf this word, which also shouldn't exist, but why are we reducing each other to such derogatory terms?
Women are more than just flesh, they have a soul and a heart.
I think what really makes me so mad about that Starbucks incident is the fact that the girl in her picture was holding a cap and gown in her hand. They weren't paying attention to what that post was really about.
So what if she showed off her legs? So what if she was going to show off some stomach? So what if you showed her underboob? So what if she was wearing a summer dress? So what?
We need to figure out how to respect one another as people. As human beings, because that is who we are. This world will never change if we don't learn to do this collectively. These old-fashioned, patriarchal, societal ideals need to go.
I knew if I saw that picture on my feed, I would've congratulated her and told her that I was glad she made it this far. I would've never objectified her body, but I would've appreciated her intellect and told her I can't wait to see what she has in store for the future.
That's what those boys should've said.
