Women have generally drawn the short straw from the beginning of time. The Perfect Housewife narrative has dominated the lives of women, even after the influx of female workers in the mid-1900s. The world is overly concerned about the choices women make and continues to view them primarily as child-rearers despite the numerous advances women have made in the workplace. No matter how many laws are passed in an attempt to equate men and women, the dominant belief in society will be that women are meant to stay at home, raise the children, and support their husbands.
More than once, family and friends have expressed concern about the kind of wife that I will be. I am a terrible cook and generally can only deal with children who aren't able to talk back to me. I am not planning a future that revolves around being a stay-at-home mother; in fact, the career I plan to pursue requires time and effort that would keep me in an office for most of the day. I've accepted that the man I marry will probably spend more time in the kitchen than I will, and perhaps spend more time with our kids. But I'm comforted by the possibility of being able to support my family while working a job that is important and enjoyable to me.
The media portrays the working mother as selfish and detached from her family. Often, the husband feels emotionally and sexually unsatisfied, driving him to find a mistress who will fill the hole in his heart. I challenge the media to present a working mother who spends her hours at work missing her family, who comes home every night desperate to kiss her husband and hold her children. I challenge the media to respect the women who work as well as those who stay at home. More than anything, I challenge society to accept that they do not own women, and have no say in the lives they choose to live.
We are more than just mothers. We are daughters, sisters, friends, and wives. We are doctors, politicians, teachers, artists, journalists, and homemakers. Some of us might not even want to be mothers, or see children as a plan for the far future. So what if I can't whip up a five-course meal without setting something on fire? The love of your life should be the person who balances all your flaws. So, yes, my contributions to dinner parties will likely be made by my husband, and I will brag to anyone who listens about his cooking. And maybe my kids will spend their days with my husband, and I'll be the one coming home to my wonderful family at night. My worth shouldn't be determined by whether I fit a centuries-old stereotype of the typical suburban housewife.
Yes, I am a woman. And that means whatever I want it to mean.
