10 TOTALLY Reasonable Tips On How To Make A Woman Fall In Love With You
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10 TOTALLY Reasonable Tips On How To Make A Woman Fall In Love With You

Chivalry can't be dead if you never let it live.

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10 TOTALLY Reasonable Tips On How To Make A Woman Fall In Love With You

Many guys have problems with women. However, it is not as hard as it looks to maintain a healthy and happy relationship. Women are very simple. Once you internalize these 10 tips, you will see a noticeable uptick in how women treat you, and you will be satisfied with the results.

1. Communication is for suckers

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Communicating openly is a solid route to talking about how you feel in an honest manner. However, that is very bad. You want to make them completely and totally unaware of how you're feeling. If you ignore your feelings, they go away and you can be blissfully ignorant to your own wants and desires.

2. Polygamy is OK (as long as she doesn't know about it)

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If you want to be a true man, you have to perform coitus with as many women as possible. Women are like ice cream. You can like vanilla, but want some moose tracks or some strawberry on the side. Just don't let any of them find out. If they do, let their catty side break out and they'll fight each other for your undivided attention.

3. Establish dominance over her father

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Men are like lions. Once a new alpha is introduced to the pride, the two alphas battle it out for control. You do this by mentioning slyly that her father doesn't provide well for his family. Point out any imperfections in the household and blame it on her weak, ineffective, beta father. Once you win this battle, feel free to move yourself in.

4. Make her pay for you on dates

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It's 2019 guys, women have money now. As a man, you should never have to pay for a single date that you go on. You want surf and turf at a three Michelin star restaurant? Go ahead! Your woman will be more than glad to pay for your extravagant meals. If she's running low on money (a common complaint of women who pay for expensive restaurant bills), ask her who has the Y chromosome. If you have the Y, you don't have to buy.

5. Don't make her laugh

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Your woman isn't paying you to tell jokes. You're not Bill Burr. You're not John Mulaney. Leave the comedy to the pros. The second you make her laugh is the second you become weak.

6. Backhanded compliments are key

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"That dress doesn't make you look as fat." "Your stretch marks don't show when you wear those jeans." "You're ugly." These are all great examples of things you should say because you don't want to be nice to women. Once you're nice on a regular basis, the normal compliments don't mean as much anymore. Just like how you don't give a dog treats every day, don't compliment your woman every day.

7. Be overtly racist

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A woman wants a man who's confident in his own skin. You can't be confident if you don't feel superior to people who have different skin. Judging people on such a shallow basis is an easy way to instill a long-lasting positive element into your budding relationship.

8. Use a dating app

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Dating apps like Tinder are very useful for dating, especially while you're in a relationship. Don't 50% of all marriages end in divorce anyway? Consider this your safety net, your 401k. You need to make deposits in other potential relationships in case you need to make a hefty withdrawal if your current situation doesn't work out.

9. Come out as gay

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You have another beautiful date. After you drive back to your place (because you have a will to live and you won't let a woman drive), she tells you that she really likes you. This is when you come out. You're not actually gay, but you want to throw her off enough to confuse her. Let what you said stew for a few seconds, then take it back. This roller coaster of emotions is exactly what she wants and you will be a happier couple for it.

10. Develop a crippling addiction

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All women have the mother instinct where they feel the need to take care of people. You activate this by starting an addiction. It doesn't matter if it's gambling, alcohol, or drugs. The more money and time you spend, the better. Drug and alcohol addictions work more effectively because the impact is seen physically. You'll have her cleaning your track marks as you heat up your crack pipe in no time.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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