To The Twenty-Something Woman Who Feels Like Everyone Is Getting Engaged, Except Her

To The Twenty-Something Woman Who Feels Like Everyone Is Getting Engaged, Except Her

"Choose to love everyone with the same fervor as a bride loves her groom."

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If you're that young single woman who sees an engagement post on her Facebook feed at least once a week, congratulations! You're in a pretty crappy place in life. It's the holiday season, so that makes things doubly crappy. Some might call that pessimistic, but I think it's just the truth.

Your girlfriend goes out and finds the perfect wedding dress, and you're sitting in your 8AM class wearing the same sweater for the third day in a row. Your childhood bestie and her fiancee always talk about how in love they are, and you can't even get your cat to snuggle with you. That girl you do everything with has a huge rock on her perfectly manicured nails, and your hands look like little stumps. It's a constant comparison of you and every engaged person you know. It seems like it can't be helped. You're surrounded by wedding plans and photos and brunches and, worst of all, love. The very last thing you want to do is think about love. Being single when all your friends are engaged sucks. I'm not here to tell you it doesn't. If I tell you that "someday your prince will come", then I'm playing God, because I don't know what will happen to you, or me, or anyone else.

But, as much as this season of life sucks, you can still gain something invaluable from it.

I believe that God created marriage as a symbol of His unconditional, redeeming love for us. When two people enter into the covenant of marriage, they promise to put the other person's needs before their own and to be devoted to them in spite of their shortcomings. Now, think about your engaged friends and their husbands-to-be. As much as you love them, they all have shortcomings. She talks a little too loudly and he doesn't speak up when he should. He's super messy and she's obsessively clean. They both forget to apologize, but when they do, it's never with much eloquence.

All these faults might seem to be deal-breakers for a relationship, but, as cheesy as it sounds, love can conquer any sin or shortcoming in our lives.

Love does two things: It takes a broken person and reconciles them to God and it takes two broken people and reconciles them to each other. The good news is, you don't have to be in a relationship, engaged or married to experience this amazing, restorative love. It can be found in friendships, mentorships and families. This supernatural love is so powerful that it can even be found in strangers. That's right, you don't even have to know someone to love them wholly if you have God's love in your heart. That is a power that no one can take from you. You have to choose to harness love and use it in your everyday day life; no one can make you. But, I promise that if you choose love, you'll never regret it. You will find fulfillment in your singleness, meaningful relationships, and a newfound perspective on all your engaged friends.

Choose to love everyone with the same fervor as a bride loves her groom. It's what we were put on this Earth to do.

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To The Girl Who's Still Crying Over the Guy She Never Dated

We've all been there, you never really dated but you might as well have...
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We’ve all been there. Every single one of us. Whether we want to admit it or not, we all have been where you are; so let me just say, you’re not alone. No matter if your friends are the best people in the world, I’m sure they’ve had enough of your sadness over a boy who you were never really with. But that’s what’s scary, it feels like you were together. No matter the amount of time, maybe a month, maybe a year, no matter what, you had enough time to gain feelings for another person and be vulnerable; and that in itself is a tough pill to swallow. Now, the one person you thought would never hurt you, did just what they promised they wouldn’t do, and now you’re left putting the pieces of your life back together.

Enough of the sappy stuff. Let me tell you that life goes on. Whether over a boy, or a grade, or whatever it is, I have always told my friends, “You’re going to make it to tomorrow.” And although it seems like the hardest feat you’ve ever endured, you are going to make it to tomorrow. And then, you’re going to make it to the next day. So it may seem that the day you end things with the boy you thought you were going to be with, is the worst day in the world, you are going to make it to tomorrow.

But even though you are going to make it to tomorrow, that doesn’t mean the situation doesn’t suck. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t cry. It doesn’t mean that you won’t be afraid or feel weird going to the bar you once loved, or the restaurant you guys would go to a lot, or the most common place to study on campus, in fear of seeing him. All of those feelings of uncertainty are totally normal, and in time, it will fade.

My friend once told me, this too shall pass.

So while you’re sad, or crying, or complaining about this boy, your friends might be telling you, “Get over it, you were never really together.” But I promise, it may take a while (seemingly forever), and as hard as it may be to believe right now, you will make it to tomorrow, and this too shall pass. Remember that.

With love from,

The girl who knows what it's like to have to get over the boy she never dated

Cover Image Credit: onehdwallpaper

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A Well-Deserved And Long Overdue Thank You To My Boyfriend

I know it's cliché, but he deserves it.

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Thank you for choosing me and loving me unconditionally every day. I do not deserve the love that you radiate, but I am beyond thankful for it. Thank you for showing me kindness in every action and for listening to every pointless story I have. Thank you for being the person I can go to 24/7 with any piece of news. Thank you for being the only person who can make me laugh when I am not in the mood at all. Thank you for picking up all of my pieces and wiping all of my tears. Thank you for making sure I always feel loved.

Thank you for believing in pinky promises just as much as I do and for making sure you never break them. Thank you for always reassuring me even though it gets annoying. Thank you for believing in me and pushing me out of my comfort zone. Thank you for knowing when I need a confidence boost, when I need a push, or when I just need a shoulder to cry on. Thank you for taking the time to learn everything about me.

Thank you for never giving up on me no matter how grumpy I get or how hard our week has been. Thank you for never going to sleep mad and always saying "I love you" before we leave. Thank you for the tight squeezes and play fights. Thank you for the deep belly laughs and jam sessions in the car. Thank you for the late-night phone calls when I can't sleep and for doing everything you can to make me better when I'm sick. Thank you for loving me no matter what and no matter when. Thank you for all of the memories. Thank you for holding on tight and never letting go.

Thank you for being everything I could ever want and for showing me what love really is.

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