So many people have gotten engaged lately. Like, so.many.
It seems that every time I scroll through Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, there is a photo of a happy couple and a gorgeous engagement ring awaiting my blissful sighs. It's a precious thing, really. I'm immensely happy for all of the happiness! Even when it is a couple I barely know, engagement photos capturing the joy on their faces get me every time. Soon afterwards, though, I find myself feeling pressured.
It is nobody's fault but my own. My peers do not criticize me for not having a rock on my finger yet, nor am I myself fully ready to be wed. Even so, with all of the engagements, weddings and pregnancy announcements being showcased every day, I find thoughts creeping in:
You're going to be old when you get married.
You will be the last one to get engaged.
You could be a wife by now, but you won't be for a long time.
I recently discussed this feeling with one of my friends who is in a similar situation to me: happily dating, but not able or ready to be married yet.
We laughed at these silly thoughts that we have both had because we know it would be catastrophic if we were to marry our SO's right now. After multiple occurrences of shouting out, "SHE'S engaged??" in a roomful of friends while scrolling on my phone, it's become apparent that many college girls feel the same pressure. Some of us feel left behind without really knowing why.
So why the insecure thoughts?
Why do we feel jealous of the 20 year-old bride even though we know that would be a bad idea for us? Why do engagement announcements make us want to shout, "ANOTHER one?" rather than, "Congratulations!" Why aren't we engaged yet? Why are our timelines different?
Your timeline is different because no couple is the same. You are not engaged because you and your boyfriend have made the choice to wait a while because you believe it be the best thing for you. You are the bridesmaid and not yet the bride because God has things He wants you to finish as a single woman.
Marriage is not a race.
Your marriage or engagement will not be extra blessed because you were the first in your friend group to get married.If God has plans for you to be a parent, He will make a way for it to happen, even if He tells you not to marry till you are older. It does not matter how old you are when you marry if you are waiting for a reason. Why do we feel pressured? It is most likely because marriage is a beautiful union most of us are destined to model; it is only natural that we desire it. But making a life-long commitment is like anything else: just because it is right does mean it must be done right away.
To the woman who is listening to the Lord's caution of "wait on my timing," Scripture commends you.
"For there is a time and a way for everything, although man's trouble lies heavy on him." - Ecclesiastes 8:6
"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." - Ephesians 2:10
"He has made everything in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to the end." - Ecclesiastes 3:11
God will make your relationship beautiful in its time. The only race we are called to partake in the one of following God's direction. If your direction is to wait for a certain time before marrying, you are running the race well.
