With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, I think it's an appropriate time to speak about the woes of dating, hooking up, or meeting potential significant others in college, especially if you’re new to the college scene. I won’t expose all the wild wonders of the college dating world, but I can sure as heck give you the categories I’ve organized boys into since I've been at CofC.
1. The one-time makeout never to be seen again(?)
This is otherwise known as the hookup. Was his name Brad or Brian? You and your friends aren’t sure, but one thing is certain — you’ll never see this boy you kissed at a party ever again. Maybe two years from now when you’ve got your sh*t together, interned at two companies, and studied abroad you’ll see him on campus and think “don't I know him from somewhere?” but probably not.
2. The “I have a girlfriend but do you want to chill” boy
He’ll say, “oh, we’re on a break” or “we’re about to break up,” but just no. Run as fast as you can and never ever look back. He probably messages girls at 2 AM something like “come ova.” He does not have time for a real relationship or time to tell his actual girlfriend that the relationship is not working out. He doesn’t even have time to type the entire word “over” so anything he does is only to benefit him 100 percent. Stay away!!
3. The F***boy
Similar to number two because they are both all about the 2 AM “come over and chill” phone call, but number three is still their own breed. He loves to hang out with his bros. He probably wears white Nike socks and gray dad New Balance shoes while he's drinking with the boys. You’ll never catch him at the library, but you’ll for sure catch him if you happen to be going out on a Wednesday night. He may seem cool to hang out with for a few weekends, but I say run after weekend one because he is only cool with anything that benefits him, no matter who he screws over. He probably claims that he knows how to treat girls, but actions speak louder than words on that one.
4. The Ex
You guys dated in high school or early on in college, but he’s always coming back. Maybe he’s just wondering how you are or he wants to get coffee — the relationship is over and you’ve moved on, but every single time you guys run into each other you end up feeling like something is still there. Don’t question your choices or be a total a** to him, but the past is the past.
5. The One
He might be the one or maybe not, but right now he is pretty great. There aren’t any red flags, he makes you feel good about yourself and he genuinely cares about your happiness. You both benefit each other equally. The relationship gives you room to grow as a person, but someone is there cheering you on. He’s happy to listen when you need him and you’re always there for him. He might be in your life forever or just for a little while, but either way, the relationship feels positive. Whether you stay together or not, at the end of the day you feel like you truly gained an understanding of what a healthy relationship feels like and gained a whole lot of self-respect along the way.
Just a note: Some of this is kind of a joke even though shade was thrown in the process.
I think it's okay to kiss as many people as you want, love who you want and do what you want (as long as no one is getting hurt in the process.) There is no shame in finding yourself or what you like, want, or need out of life. I’m truly happy for anyone who is happy. Dating is weird and relationships are complicated. You do you. Live your life. Do what make makes you happy and make sure people treat you right.
Every experience good or bad is an experience — you gain something from everything that happens to you, whether you learn a lesson or learn to love yourself. I learned so much this year and I’m thankful for everything that has happened to me. All jokes about f***boys aside, loving yourself is important, especially in relationships. Be happy with yourself and don’t let crappy people bring you down, no matter what.