The Woes Of College Dating

The Woes Of College Dating

Categorizing the boys in your life.
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With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, I think it's an appropriate time to speak about the woes of dating, hooking up, or meeting potential significant others in college, especially if you’re new to the college scene. I won’t expose all the wild wonders of the college dating world, but I can sure as heck give you the categories I’ve organized boys into since I've been at CofC.

1. The one-time makeout never to be seen again(?)

This is otherwise known as the hookup. Was his name Brad or Brian? You and your friends aren’t sure, but one thing is certain — you’ll never see this boy you kissed at a party ever again. Maybe two years from now when you’ve got your sh*t together, interned at two companies, and studied abroad you’ll see him on campus and think “don't I know him from somewhere?” but probably not.

2. The “I have a girlfriend but do you want to chill” boy

He’ll say, “oh, we’re on a break” or “we’re about to break up,” but just no. Run as fast as you can and never ever look back. He probably messages girls at 2 AM something like “come ova.” He does not have time for a real relationship or time to tell his actual girlfriend that the relationship is not working out. He doesn’t even have time to type the entire word “over” so anything he does is only to benefit him 100 percent. Stay away!!

3. The F***boy

Similar to number two because they are both all about the 2 AM “come over and chill” phone call, but number three is still their own breed. He loves to hang out with his bros. He probably wears white Nike socks and gray dad New Balance shoes while he's drinking with the boys. You’ll never catch him at the library, but you’ll for sure catch him if you happen to be going out on a Wednesday night. He may seem cool to hang out with for a few weekends, but I say run after weekend one because he is only cool with anything that benefits him, no matter who he screws over. He probably claims that he knows how to treat girls, but actions speak louder than words on that one.

4. The Ex

You guys dated in high school or early on in college, but he’s always coming back. Maybe he’s just wondering how you are or he wants to get coffee — the relationship is over and you’ve moved on, but every single time you guys run into each other you end up feeling like something is still there. Don’t question your choices or be a total a** to him, but the past is the past.

SEE ALSO: 5 Ways To Move On From A Toxic Relationship

5. The One

He might be the one or maybe not, but right now he is pretty great. There aren’t any red flags, he makes you feel good about yourself and he genuinely cares about your happiness. You both benefit each other equally. The relationship gives you room to grow as a person, but someone is there cheering you on. He’s happy to listen when you need him and you’re always there for him. He might be in your life forever or just for a little while, but either way, the relationship feels positive. Whether you stay together or not, at the end of the day you feel like you truly gained an understanding of what a healthy relationship feels like and gained a whole lot of self-respect along the way.

Just a note: Some of this is kind of a joke even though shade was thrown in the process.

I think it's okay to kiss as many people as you want, love who you want and do what you want (as long as no one is getting hurt in the process.) There is no shame in finding yourself or what you like, want, or need out of life. I’m truly happy for anyone who is happy. Dating is weird and relationships are complicated. You do you. Live your life. Do what make makes you happy and make sure people treat you right.

Every experience good or bad is an experience — you gain something from everything that happens to you, whether you learn a lesson or learn to love yourself. I learned so much this year and I’m thankful for everything that has happened to me. All jokes about f***boys aside, loving yourself is important, especially in relationships. Be happy with yourself and don’t let crappy people bring you down, no matter what.

Cover Image Credit: College Gloss

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To Everyone Who Hasn't Had Sex Yet, Wait For Marriage, It's The Right Move

If you have not had sex yet, wait.

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Premarital sex is not a new concept, no matter how much people like to pretend it is. You can trace scripture and historical texts back thousands of year to see that lust and fornication have been a problem since… well, since we humans have been problems.

They tell you in sex ed that sex causes you to form a bond with someone. They throw some big chemical names at you that are apparently in your body and cause that emotional attachment to happen, then you move on (or back to) how important condoms are and why STDs are so scary.

As a middle schooler or teenager, you can't understand what it means to become permanently connected to someone as a result of a quick, physical act.

If you haven't even had your first kiss, you really can't imagine what it's like to develop such a complex and intimate connection with someone because you have yet to feel the butterflies in your stomach from a kiss. So you really don't know what it's like to have a whole different type of feeling in your stomach.

You never forget your first love. It's one of the most cliche things you consistently hear, but it's true. Ask anyone. I guarantee your parents can still spurt out their first love's name in a few seconds. And most people never forget their first time. I know all my friends can recount that often awkward and slightly terrifying moment as if it happened an hour ago. When you mix those two, especially if you are in your teens, oh boy.

You never forget that. No matter how hard you try.

Everything you hear about sex is true: it's amazing, fantastic, life-changing, etc. There's a reason people have done it as frequently as they do, for as long as they have. But every time you sleep with someone, you leave a piece of yourself with them. Every time you choose to take that final physical step with someone, you cannot go back and collect that piece of your dignity and soul that you left with someone.

So, imagine what happens when you break up with someone you've slept with. Or that you just hooked up with. You have given someone a little slice of yourself forever. And you can never get it back. And imagine what happens when you do that multiple times. You give a piece of yourself to five, 10, 15, 20 or more people. Then you meet the person that you want to spend forever with. And you no longer have that whole part of you. You've given pieces away, and you can no longer give those to the love of your life.

So, save those pieces for your future spouse.

If you have not had sex yet, wait. If you have, consider not giving more pieces of yourself away to people who are not your spouse. Sex was created to be between two spouses, nobody else. So we need to try to maintain its integrity.

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Poetry On Odyssey: Naughty Or Nice

Santa tell me

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Santa tell me

Because I've been wondering

If I open up

And by open up

I don't mean a package

Or a bottle of wine

I mean, my heart

It's perfect

Sometimes it's tainted with guilt

But it's kind

It's scared

But still kind

And it's looking for hope

For change

A chance to make a difference

A brighter world for you, Santa

To make everyday feel like Christmas

And yet I still wonder, day after day

Am I being naughty?

I really hope I'm being nice

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