Dear Ex-Best Friend,

I know we haven’t talked in a while and I can’t say it doesn’t bother me from time to time. You were my first true best friend. You were the person I went to about everything, you were the person I laughed about everything with, you were the only person I felt like I could rely on in the world and when the world came crashing down on me, you were always by my side. I can’t say I did the same to you. I was the bad friend in our friendship and I see that now. I was self-absorbed and wasn’t there for you when you needed me. For that, I’m deeply sorry. If I could go back and change it, I would. You were the best friend I didn’t deserve and you deserved so much better than me. I can see now why we grew apart. It was my fault and that’s hard to deal with sometimes. The truth is that I have lost many friends over the years but you’re the only one that crosses my mind occasionally. I just wonder if you’re happy and I hope that you’re happy; you deserve nothing less. In a lifetime, you don’t come across many good friends like you. It’s funny, I look back on the things I did and I’ll just shake my head. It’s a shame that I didn’t realize until a little bit ago that I was the reason behind our lost friendship.

I vowed to myself to go above and beyond for my friends now. But now I’m in your shoes, my friends won’t go above and beyond for me. I’ve had friends who have flirted with my boyfriend, I’ve had friends who have never asked how I was doing, and I’ve had friends who never seemed to care about me like I did for them. It’s probably one of the worst feelings in the world; to have a bad friend. And I cannot believe I did that to you. I know now that the things you said to me the last day we were friends, was out of care. You cared for me, you were looking out for me, you were being honest with me, and you were just being a good friend. I didn’t appreciate that, I just left. I never texted you, I never called you, I never really reached out to you. I was embarrassed, I knew you were right. I put my pride before our friendship and that was probably my biggest mistake. I haven’t been the same since then, not because of you; but because I started to look at the myself differently. I saw my flaws, I saw what I needed to work on and I realized that I needed to work on myself. I want to thank you. For everything you ever did for me. You are an amazing person and I hope you never change.

If you ever need to talk to someone, I’m always here to listen. You may resent me, you may not like me, you may not trust me, and so on. But I have changed. I’m not begging for your friendship back. I’m just saying if you ever feel lost and need someone to listen, I’m here. You will always be a friend to me and no matter what, I’ll be there for you.