All my life I struggled with my body image. I used to think that compared to everyone else around, I could not even compete. I never thought I was as pretty as the other girls. I used to fantasize about how my life would be different if I was "prettier." I would have more friends. More people would like me. I would be popular and so on. Then I started thinking of why I wasn't as pretty as all of the other girls around. The most obvious thing to me was my weight.
My weight is something I have struggled with all my life. I always wished I was thinner. The thinner I am the prettier I would be right? And maybe then I would actually fit in. No one is attracted to a 200+ pound girl.
For a while, I just said whatever but did not do anything to lose weight. Eventually, I figured out that the weight isn't just gonna roll off of me like butter off of a hot fresh biscuit.
Back then the gym was a foreign word to me. That just took too much time and effort. So I thought of ways to lose weight fast and cardio free. I could take weight loss pills. I could diet. I could use body wraps. I could use detox tea. But of course, all that took too long. I researched other ways to lose weight fast. Things I am not proud of such as starving myself or consuming very little calories a day. Or even better binge eating and then purging it all up....the best of both worlds huh?
Well, that worked for a while but eventually, I realized that I was hurting myself rather than helping myself. But "beauty is pain" and I can do this a littler longer can't I? Silly me, being thinner would not make me prettier any who. I would need contacts to have a pretty eye color. I would still have to get braces because of my messed up teeth. I would have to get some extensions because my hair isn't long enough. I would have to spend money on makeup to cover up the acne on my face. I would have to buy the best shoes and clothes. I would have to get my nails done and keep my hair up every day.
Might as well give up now. I do not have the time or money to be "pretty." No one will never notice or love me, right? I will be one of those 80 something years old grandmas living in the woods with 68 cats.
Then I got to thinking. Who said I wasn't pretty? Society? Ha well if I tried to fit all of society's expectations I would live a miserable life of hating myself and longing to belong.
I am beautiful.
After all the God of all creation says so!
Song of Solomon 4:1 Behold, you are beautiful, my love, behold, you are beautiful!
After years and years of hating myself and longing to be someone else, I can finally be at peace with myself and my appearance. My personality outshines everything else anyway. Being thinner or changing all those things about myself would not make me any prettier. The only thing it would make me is miserable and unhappy.
So fellas and ladies, listen up! You do not need to change a thing about you. There could never be a more beautiful you. Most of the negative things we think about ourselves is in our on head. We are our worst enemy.
Today choose to love yourself. Choose happiness. Choose you over everyone else.
