Winter is the worst. I have trouble accepting that there is anything remotely positive about it. C.S. Lewis nailed it on the head when he used an eternal winter as an allegory for a fallen, broken world. Winter is Hell on Earth, and no one can convince me otherwise. I will not leave my house if I don't have to, and I will complain at least once a day. This is who I am, and I am not ashamed.
1. The wind hurts
No one should have to be in pain the moment they step foot outside. Unfortunately, the Kansas wind doesn't share the same sentiment. Good luck getting the red off of your face.
2. Ice is a silent, invisible danger
This frozen H20 leaves no man unharmed. It will take any chance it gets to cause a 20 car pile-up, a broken arm, or a 30 minute work-out for your arm as your scrape your windshield.
3. Eternally dry skin
No matter how much lotion I put on, by the end of the day you can't tell my hands from the Sahara. And if I forget my gloves? Forget ever getting the moisture back.
In the fall, layers are great. They look cute and are super comfy. Winter-level layers are a whole different story. I have to wear a long sleeve, a sweater, a scarf, and a coat to be protected from the icy wind, but the moment I step inside, I am drenched in sweat. There's just no winning.
5. A head full of static
The winter dries out everything, and after taking my coat off a couple times, my hair no longer understands the concept of laying flat. I look like I've been electrocuted.
6. No sunshine
This might be the biggest problem for me. In the winter, it can be days or even weeks between sightings of the sun. And on the sunny days, more than half of the day is still spent in darkness. When people wonder why I'm so tired and sad, I blame it on the clouds. No sun, no smile. (This may be an actual video of me as a child wanting to see the sun.)
7. Death is everywhere
Winter might actually be a dementor sucking the happiness out of everything. Maybe. The grass is brown, the trees are bare, and an apple costs $5. I like to focus on living my life, and winter makes that a little difficult.
8. Everything freezes immediately
Nothing is safe. If you accidentally leave some water in your car, it's now a giant ice cube. You run out of time in the morning and can't blow-dry your hair, congrats, you now have an icicle helmet.
9. Christmas is over
At least the holidays give us something to look forward to. Once Christmas is done and the New Year has come, what is even the point of leaving the house? The lights have been taken down, stupid music is back on the radio. Save yourself and stay inside. It isn't worth it, I promise.