Hocus Pocus is overall the absolute best part of the fall season. If you don’t agree, I question your judgment. No other movie can so easily bring me back to my childhood than this one. Even though it’s dubbed a Halloween movie, I obviously watch it year-round whenever I need a good laugh. Bette Midler (my queen) is hands down my favorite cast member for a multitude of reasons, but primarily her attitude, which is certainly not one to be reckoned with, and her unforgiving sass. I cannot get over how she is just so over the top that I still laugh as hard at her today as I did fifteen years ago.

Don’t get me wrong, SJP has me laughing until I can’t breathe multiple times during the film, but Winnie just speaks to me on a whole different level. And here, she perfectly sums up the events of a Friday night out from beginning to end:

Your friends suggest going out but you really just want to stay in your sweats and watch Netflix.

Someone suggests a bar a 30-minute train ride downtown that’s supposedly way better than all of the ones already in walking distance…

You decide to pregame while you all figure it out and still, after two rounds, no one can seem to make a decision on where to go out.

You’ve all finally come to an agreement and make your way to the bar (nearby because tbh your feet are already starting to hurt in your heels and you don't want to venture too far from your sweatpants). You order your first round and are finally starting to relax and enjoy yourself when you see a hot guy across the bar and he makes eye contact with you. You begin to panic, and your girls obviously try to calm you down but that ship has already sailed.

But then his girlfriend walks past you and you realize he wasn’t even looking at you all along.

You quickly get over a near catastrophe after another drink and you’re finally ready for the night and take on the dance floor with your girls, obviously claiming the middle of the floor as your own.

Unfortunately, the drinks start to wear off and all of the night's dancing finally catches up with your feet jammed in those heels. You're walking home, and on the way there, you happen to catch a glimpse of yourselves in a very reflective window and realize that bar was definitely as steamy inside as it felt. Luckily, you're only a block away from your apartment by the time you notice your appearance.

After nearly crawling up the last flight of stairs of your apartment building, you're finally inside and see your beloved bed again.

After sleeping in full makeup by accident and managing to sleep the whole night in your skinny jeans, you unfortunately have to wake up for the morning shift on Saturday and it all seems to hit you at once.

Thank you, Disney, for blessing (or cursing) us with the wicked Sanderson sisters and the very clever Winifred. She externalizes the inner sassy bitch that lives within us all, and I don't think I could love it more.