I want to start off by saying that I am by no means a professional artist. I don't believe I ever really was or could be. But because I am not considered professional or "good" by other people's standards, that does not mean that I'm not an artist at heart.

Throughout high school I participated in Art Club and always found myself creating and trying my hardest to be at the levels of those who could draw so well. Those people every year found themselves collecting awards at the end of the annual art show, while I only collected my lonesome art. I didn't feel that my skills were appreciated enough and I gave up art completely after graduation.

I remember the comments on my work from other students. They weren't kind with their critiques and there was always something wrong with my sketches or paintings. It was a common thing to be compared to other peers and their work, to be told that I wouldn't be able to achieve the same skills or have the same respect earned as them.

But none of that is fair, or even true.

After a given-up belief on my art skills, I still told myself that I wasn't good enough to create anything. I went through the first three semesters of college, still embarrassed by my art skills. I wanted to put my old paintings in my dorm room, but I never had the motivation to. It started to feel like that maybe art was never my thing, even if I had been drawing for years.

Finally, a few weeks into my spring semester I finally opened my old sketchbook and began to draw again. It started out with random shapes and designs and then turned into drawings of animals and wildlife. I was feeling myself again, relieving stress through my art work. For a few days afterwards I began printing out pictures of different animals and humans, trying to use sight and memory for a starting point of illustrating my own version of each.

It was finally when I realized after so many months of no creation that it doesn't matter how well I can draw or paint something. I was too focused on winning an award and trying to seem impressive that I forgot why I created my art in the first place. Instead of focusing on what every negative opinion said that destroyed my passion, I should have just kept going.

Sure, I never won any big awards or was ever seen as an artist by other people, but I was still an artist to myself. The most important thing about creating art is showing yourself through it. It's the creativity, the emotion, and hard work that go into making a masterpiece. People may scorn your idea or critique you negatively constantly, but to you it is the most amazing work you have created and see yourself in.

I wish I wouldn't have listened to the opinions as much as I did, but because of the constant criticism, I think I've become stronger. I no longer worry about posting my artwork online or sharing my ideas. I know in my heart that what I create is mine and I am proud to use my creative mind to put life into what I make.