you kissed me
with your eyes opened,
again—
and said, the good and bad coexist together,
it was ingrained in you
to believe that our world
is not idealistic
and you were always angry because you knew too much
but you weren't always like this
you once made my heart race without anxiety,
and looked at me with eyes that suggested that we weren't just friends.
you were fruit loops and I was milk,
you were blue and I was red--
but then you grew lactose intolerant,
and realized you were colorblind,
and could never see purple
only blue
and saying "goodnight, love" became compulsory not voluntary,
and again you looked at me with tired eyes,
that suggested that we weren't just friends,
we were strangers
you forgot my favorite book
the way i smelled,
the way my body felt
and called my name with a bitter tongue
i couldn't see you in the parts of me anymore
all you saw in me was a body
the making out, lust, skin on skin
"hot hookup sessions"
to keep yourself warm
stabilize your cold self
and thats when i realized that life gives you a lot of temporary people
and change is inevitable
and love was just me really wanting it to be love
but it was just loneliness
indifference,
and thats when i kissed you back,
with my eyes opened
and when our wide eyes met
i knew that you were never
home
to begin with