I've always been a planner. Having a strategy and knowing what's happening makes me feel comfortable. So naturally, I've been searching for colleges since the start of my freshman year of high school. All through my years in high school, I watched videos on Youtube about college life, including dorm tours, move-in vlogs, and day-in-the-life videos, and I couldn't wait until I graduated high school and moved into college.
Now, it's the summer before my first semester at Duquesne University. I've spent the past month carefully planning everything I need to purchase for my dorm, attending my school's freshman summer orientation day, and spending as much time with my friends and family as I can before I move in.
Yes, this time now is sentimental, as I prepare to move into school. In two short weeks my life will be changed forever. I've lived in the same house since I was born, I've went to the same school district since kindergarten, and I've had the same group of friends all through school. And yes, I am very excited to begin the next chapter of my life, but I'm also terrified.
I've only ever made my closest friends through my activities. I swam for eight years and I was involved in the music programs in school since fifth grade. Even though I've met some good friends in my classes, I've always found my best friends on the swim team or at band.
When going through my college decision process, I had to make the decision if I wanted to attend a small, Division 3 school and continue swimming, or if I wanted to go to a college that was D1 or D2 where I wouldn't swim. I also had to decide if I wanted to continue being in the marching band or not. In the end, I realized that I never really swam for the competitive perspective, but to stay in shape and make friends, and I joined band because I loved music and I created great friendships, so I wasn't going to let those activities get in the way of my college decision process, because in the end, I'm not going to be an olympian, nor a professional mallet percussionist.
As said above, I ended up choosing Duquesne University, a medium-sized, Division 1 school that doesn't have a marching band. Yes, it's sad to give up swimming, and yes, it's bittersweet to say goodbye to band, but in the end, I'd rather be at a school that I love not doing those two activities than to be somewhere where I'm not happy.
With that being said, as I began high school, band and swimming eased me into my freshman year. I practiced for two months in the summer with the swim team and I had band camp for two weeks in August, which both eased me into school by both introducing me to the hallways setup and by forming friendships with people of all ages, and because of that, I would see familiar faces through school and that would make me a little less uncomfortable.
Nervously, I am going into college without either of those activities to ease me in. It makes me anxious. People assure me that I will make friends but it's hard to believe them when I've only ever felt 100% comfortable around those on the team or in band. It's time I step out of my comfort zone.
As mentioned above, I've only ever lived in one place before. I have lived with my mom, my dad, and my brother in our house in Greensburg for my whole life, and I've only ever attended one school district. Ever since I was little, and until this day, my family loves to take trips to Pittsburgh and spend the night in the city. I'd always been fascinated with the city and always wanted to live downtown.
My top two schools that I found myself torn between were Duquesne University (go figure) and Saint Vincent College. Aside from both having great academics, Duquesne is a perfect-sized campus and it has the city life I've always wanted, and Saint Vincent would be a more comfortable selection, with it is 20 minutes from my house and the amount of students there is less than the amount of students in my high school. In the end, I chose Duquesne not only for its growing Leading Teacher Program, but because it is something different. It's a step out of my comfort zone because I'm farther from home, I'm in the city, and I'd know less familiar faces there. Saint Vincent is an amazing school, but the location is what sealed the deal for me. With risk comes reward.
Another factor about college that frightens me is the workload. In high school, I took a couple of AP classes, and to make a long story short, they were rough. They pushed me to form new study habits and to put more time into studying in order to receive a good grade, as well as made me furious and hate the subject. Although those classes pushed my mental health to the edge, I am grateful that I took those, so I can form new study habits that I can use in college. Today, I'm afraid that I won't be able to keep up with the workload, or that it will be much harder than the AP classes I took.
A year ago, I was planning on majoring in biology, earning my master's degree, and working in genetic research, so I signed up to take AP Biology this past year. I was so excited for a class that will give me a taste of what I'm doing for the rest of my life. I'm not going to sugar coat it, but AP bio kicked my ass. I ended up not liking it much at all and I then decided that since I like math and I like helping people learn, I wanted to go into teaching mathematics. I took regular Calculus 1 at school this past year, and I learned a lot and got a good grade, but part of me fears that the same thing that happened in AP Biology will happen to me in Calculus 1 in college.
To conclude, I am nervous about the smallest things. What if there's no showers open when I go to take one? What if I can't find a classroom? What if my roommate hates me within the first month?
There's just so many what if's at college that I'm nervous. But hey, there's going to be 1,200 freshmen at my school, and hundreds of thousands across the world that will be in the same boat as me. It's safe to say that choosing Duquesne was a risk, but with risk comes reward. I'm nervous for college, but excited.
