I wake up late. It's usually a 25 minute struggle to get to school by 7:15, and God knows I refuse to do anything without eating, which usually uses about half my allotted get-ready time. And to me, eyelash curlers look like medieval torture devices; but those reasons are not why I don't wear makeup.
To be completely honest, I fear makeup. I joke with my friends that my three biggest fears are heart disease (runs in the family), skin cancer (the most preventable cancer), and makeup. The latter usually raises the most eyebrows. Though I speak with a lingering laughter in my voice when I say it, there is without doubt validity to my statement.
I fear looking in the mirror and not recognizing what I see. What I fear more is starting to recognize my face with makeup and not recognizing myself without makeup. I fear the day when I feel exposed or empty with a bare face, where every last ounce of my self-esteem is dependent on a made-up face.
Everyone has insecurities, and fun fact, make-up can cover them. A pimple here, a birthmark there. Make short eyelashes longer, make cheekbones more defined, I get it.
But I never want makeup to be a crutch.
There is no doubt that makeup can boost confidence, but makeup should not make confidence. Makeup, for many, is a band-aid for severe insecurity issues, not a cure. Demons tunnel through painted faces. You cannot truly apply or swatch away deep-seeded insecurity.
On YouTube, Snapchat Discover, and Instagram there are endless makeup tutorials, day-to-night looks and highlighting techniques galore. The videos invoke a certain awe, an astonished "How did they do that?!" However, it is the videos of people removing their makeup, their "masks," that move us to tears. The videos that force people to confront their vulnerability are emotional, empowering, eye-opening.
I am not immune to insecurity. I am not ignorant of my short-comings. I am realistic enough to understand that I am not a perfect "10," but I realize that there are goals I'd rather reach than to be a ten, that I have other strengths, separate from my weaknesses. I want to dedicate my time to improving my other shortcomings; I realize that I, along with everyone else, am not perfect. There are parts of myself (mentally and physically) I would change in a heartbeat, if I could. There are parts of myself that applying makeup would fix, if I would. I just can't risk losing my acceptance of my flaws.
Through all this fear, I realize that life is also about balance. Social obligations seldom require makeup, but on the occasion they do, I oblige. I have not emotionally blacklisted or condemned the usage of makeup. Makeup, in its essence, about artistic and emotional representation. Makeup is about being able to express yourself without words, to let your face share the colors of your soul, to paint yourself into a piece of representational art. I understand that. Makeup gives people insight, the ability to read your face the same way they can read body language. It's about highlighting your sense of self, your strong points, your self-confidence. For many, foundation is a blank canvas for a masterpiece of self-reflection. I appreciate this art, and though I choose to create through dance, song, and most recently writing, I have nothing but love and encouragement to those using makeup with purely healthy intentions. To those who do not use makeup as a medium of conformity, I applaud you.
To those using makeup to hide behind, I promise it is only a temporary shield, and a shield that cannot withstand much. You are handing makeup the power to control your confidence, and that is not okay. You have every right to be confident as your pure, authentic, raw self. Never let it get to the point where you depend on makeup like a lifetime smoker depends on nicotine; you are so incredible, you don't need to prove yourself to anyone but yourself. Don't fuel your own insecurity, don't validate your perceived "flaws," and I hope you take measures to learn to love yourself fresh-faced and all made-up. Perceived perfection is not the only thing that merits love; if it were, no one would be loved, which is fortunately not the case. Find the courage to disengage from self-inhibiting behaviors. Baby steps towards self-acceptance are still steps.
Ultimately, your morning routine is entirely your decision. I beg you to make the choices that you know, deep in your heart, are best and healthiest for you and your well-being.
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Here's a short film by a fellow Odyssey creator, Gerardo Marrufo, featuring Molly Macke-- I hope you find its positive message insightful and inspiring.
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