You don't define me. I have lived most of my life wondering if you ever think about me, the last time you saw me, or if you ever wonder what if you had been still there. I used to think that because I had 50% of your DNA, that I would turn out like you, but I haven't, and I won't.

Your actions don't define me. You can make bad choices, and I can choose to learn from them. You can choose to leave your daughter for nights on end wondering where you were, but when I have children, I will be there every night for them. You can choose to miss all of my important life events: my cheer competitions, my graduations, my ups and downs, and the moments when I needed to talk to you. You chose to miss out on all of those events; no one ever forced you.

Your DNA doesn't define me. I was scared to turn out like you: abandoning everyone who loves me, not being able to listen to what others needed from me, and becoming an alcoholic. Over time, I realized that you chose those, not your DNA. I look nothing like you, by chance, but I act nothing like you by choice.

While you missed out on my life, I had people there who wanted to be there. My strong mom was always the person to cheer loudest in the crowd, my courageous Bubbie always walked up the stairs to say "goodnight", even when her knees didn't want her to go up the stairs, and I have gained a Dad who has actually earned his title. You haven't been there in nearly fifteen years, and now, I choose to keep you out of my life.

So, you can continue to live your life pretending that I don't exist, and I'll continue mine doing the same. Because of those who have supported me, I have become an independent, strong, and intelligent woman. You have no claim to who I have become because you weren't there. And most importantly, you won't define me.