Why You Shouldn't Want To Dance Like Uma Thurman

Last year, Fall Out Boy, a band whom I thought had gone extinct in 2008, released the song "Uma Thurman" on their "American Beauty / American Psycho" album. The song reminded "hip" parents (those who listen to their local top 40 radio station) of Uma Thurman’s dance scene in the 1994 hit movie, "Pulp Fiction" while giving young people everywhere a new dance role model.

After recently seeing "Pulp Fiction" just a few days ago, I can agree that it's a worthwhile watch, but it seems that Fall Out Boy, along with the rest of the population who were alive during the 80's and 90's have misremembered how good Uma Thurman's dance decisions were. This isn't to say that Uma Thurman's character wasn't sexy and confident, because she was, but concerned parents and Fall Out Boy fans should be aware of the poor dance example Uma Thurman would set for our our children.

Thurman's first flaw is that she takes off her shoes and allows her bare feet to touch a public floor. This image is incredibly damaging for today's young people, who could feel pressured into dancing barefoot, and in doing so, tango with the common cold and deadly floor viruses. Instead, parents and other authorities should inspire the young people around them to look up to dance role models who value the importance of keeping their shoes on, such as Michael Jackson and Jennifer Lopez.

Next, she chooses John Travolta to join her onstage as her dance partner, and while it may be true that Travolta is the only person Thurman knows in the restaurant (and therefore her only choice), that doesn’t make it acceptable that she chose the second creepiest actor in Hollywood (after Nicholas Cage, of course) to do the twist with her.

Not only does Thurman make poor decisions prior to dancing, but also during the dance. Although Thurman's facial expression reminds the audience of her cool, smooth personality, some of her dance moves are somewhat uncomfortable to watch. In order to partly rectify this situation, there will be a petition linked in the comments under every YouTube video of Uma Thurman dancing, pleading to put this awkward-swingy-arm-dance out of it's misery

If you don't support the barefoot, disease catching, John Travolta accompanying, strange dance role model that Uma Thurman portrays in "Pulp Fiction", try to find creative ways to let young people know that Uma Thurman isn't that cool. For instance, whenever the song "Uma Thurman" comes on, tastefully respond the line "She wants to dance like Uma Thurman" in a sing-songy voice saying, "overdose on cocaine." This should deter the young people around you from following in Uma Thurman's character's footsteps. Although this may not completely end young people's viewing of Uma Thurman as a dance role model, together, we can encourage our children to pursue better, safer dancers to imitate.