I once read a quote that said, "Why is 'patience' a virtue? Why can't 'hurry the f***k up' be a virtue?" Aside from laughing at the quote (I know you did), you must admit that if you haven't stated the quote yourself, you most definitely have thought it at least once before. I know I have.
If patience wasn't a virtue, then patience would be easy. It's not easy because we are human. Consider the generation we come from. We live in an era where everything is accessible at the touch of a button. We crave instant gratification. However, instant gratification is not always negative. Without it, wouldn't people lack ambition to achieve their career goals (for example)? It can be beneficial, but it when it comes to matters of the heart--you best believe, all good things come to those who wait. Have patience my friend.
Whether you are single, like someone, or are in a serious relationship--what I am about to say pertains to your current status.
1. You're single but you like someone.
Synopsis: This person is a special individual. Quite frankly, he or she obtains every quality you've ever dreamt of. But the situation is currently not playing out how you would like it to. PAUSE. Does currently mean never? No.
Why You Need to Patience: Do me a favor and ask yourself why you would rush a relationship. Because that's essentially what you are wanting to do. You are just dying for something to happen. But here's a food for thought: The best relationships are the ones that take a long time to cultivate. Don't you want to know as much as you can (the good and bad) about this person before you invest a substantial amount of your time/heart to this person? You are more likely to avoid having to deal with any unpleasant surprises regarding his/her personality AND you will most likely be with the person for reasons that surpass just an intense, physical attraction. Don't get confused between a mere infatuation and a true, soul connection. I'd wait however long to have the latter...whether that'd be 2 months or 7 years.
2. You're single but you're just waiting for the right one (you don't have anyone particular in mind).
Synopsis: You've been single for quite some time. You've had flings with a few people here and there, but they've all turned out to be all talk and no action. You're over dating, and are just waiting for that perfect person to show up to your doorstep (or maybe the bar this Thursday night). You also (sometimes) get annoyed when you see all your friends in relationships.
Why You Need Patience: Waiting impatiently is not going to make the love of your life appear before your eyes. Complaining that you haven't found the right person is not going to do that either. You aren't being productive. Instead, accept that you haven't found that person and you have no idea who he or she may be. The unknown is scary, but just like everything in life, the unknown is temporary. Use your time instead to envision the kind of relationship you desire. Dreams all start with a vision. Here's a cool trick: Fuel your creativity and pick up a poster board and create a collage of photos that relate to your love hopes/dreams. Hang it up in your room. Ever heard of the law of attraction, people? It works. Seriously.
3. You're in a serious relationship.
Synopsis: The two of you have been dating 3+ years. You're still in love, but find yourself getting annoyed more easily at the small things. Or maybe you are beginning to feel that the relationship is becoming more of a routine and stagnant. Or perhaps everything seems to be going fine.
Why You Need Patience: Even if you are still head over heels in love with this person, it is not uncommon for you to grow annoyed with little habits or bits of the other person. Think about when you hang out with a friend for too long. Sometimes you just get annoyed. If you start to feel yourself getting irritated at random times, take a break--not an actual breakup, but simply take more time for yourself. Alone time is extremely vital in any healthy partnership. When you spend more time becoming in tune with yourself, you learn to love yourself more, hence you become more patient with yourself. That then reflects onto how you act towards your S.O.
And if everything is going fine and you still feel you are in the honeymoon phase, then that's amazing. But you need to remain patient because life happens and stressful times occur. You want to be prepared and able to help each other deal with those stresses (and the moods/feelings that come along with them) as best as possible.
Sheetal Tadiparty
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