When I was in high school, I was in an awful relationship. This guy made me feel insignificant, criticized everything I did, and always tried to change me. I was convinced that he did that stuff because he loved me. Finally, the summer before my freshman year of college, I broke up with him. I realized that even though he made it seem like he loved me, he actually didn't. If he truly loved me, he wouldn't have made me feel the way he did or asked me to change anything about myself.

Since I was so insecure about myself, I was willing to change for him. I thought that was the only way he would love me. I didn't want to not be loved. I would have done anything to hear him tell me he loved me. I was trying to find my identity through him. I had changed so much for him that I had started to not recognize the person I had become.

It took me a long time to become a person that I was happy with. I learned that I didn't need the approval of a guy. I didn't have to change just so some guy would tell me he loved me. I don't have to find my identity through a guy who wants to change me. I can only find my identity through the One who created me. He doesn't want to change me. He finds me beautiful and thinks I'm to die for.

Once I realized this I started to focus on becoming more like Him. I'm still learning how to do that, but it's okay. I'm growing in Him and learning from Him everyday. Before I felt like I needed some guy to love me to feel fulfilled. Now I know that the love God has for me is more than enough.

So ladies, if a guy is trying to change you, he doesn't truly love you. If he did, he wouldn't expect you to change everything about yourself. He would find you pretty amazing just the way you are. Don't try and find your identity in him, find it in God. Once you start to do that, it will be easier for you to be yourself.