Within the last few years there has been a major move to support local stores and fight huge conglomerates like Walmart and Whole Foods. My neighborhood doesn’t have any of those and we’ve been doing just fine. I also can dine from a multicultural variety of small restaurants that line Fresh Pond Road. It seems the people of Ridgewood take a lot of pride in our home, and we choose to support it by shopping locally.
When it comes down to it, I think it’s just the history. There’s something about walking into the pizzeria and ordering a slice from the same man who also sold a slice to the grandfather I never got a chance to meet. Or walking into a restaurant and seeing the marks on the old wooden table from that time you tried to stab your sister’s hand with a fork (and missed, thank God!) It’s nice to know that there is history here, that my family has history here, that I have history here.
There’s just no place like home, right?
But my favorite local hotspot to blow my money on will always be my hairdresser’s shop, Touch of Beauty. Its crew is made up of hilarious and kind Polish women, most of whom I’ve seen around the neighborhood my entire life. I can remember them filling my candy basket on Halloween when I was a kid. Seriously, we go way back.
They’ve witnessed every big moment in my life since my mother first dragged me there when I was 10. There was my sister’s Confirmation and then mine 3 years down the line. Our elementary school graduations. The random high school awards nights whether they be locally at Christ the King for my sister or all the way up at Molloy for me. Whether it was Prom night or just getting a haircut to try to impress some nagging relatives, they had my back.
Specifically, Anna had my back. While the atmosphere in the shop would be totally weird without all the other ladies, Anna really is the life and backbone of the place. Her laughter and jokes never fail to make me smile, even when I was a grumpy kid. With the radio turned on, she sometimes takes a break to dance around or sing along, cajoling everyone else to join in. There’s even been times where Anna’s styled our hair at her own home because we needed them really early, like when my high school graduation was on a Sunday morning (and her youngest son had me playing cars while waiting for the curling iron to heat up). Most of the time, she’s joking around in Polish with her colleagues or customers, translating to English when something particularly funny is said and she wants to make sure no one feels left out.
And before you say anything, just know that I’m not Polish – I’m German and Filipino and can speak minimal French and Italian (I'm a mess, I know) – so I’m just as lost as anyone else. But that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy listening to them all talk and actually enjoy each other’s presence, and their work, so thoroughly. How often do we find people who actually like what they do? It’s comforting and even when I’m so far from home, just hearing that language makes me feel like a kid sitting in Anna’s chair, waiting for a haircut. I can hear my younger self-fighting over hairstyles with her as she chides me for not taking chances and to just trust her awesomeness (she was always right, by the way).
Because it’s not just my history with Anna that makes Touch of Beauty so important to me – It’s my history with my self-image. I was, and still am, a pretty big nerd and an even bigger geek. This was before these labels were considered cool and I got my fair share of teasing (some of it warranted, some of it not). For years, I had to suffer from quick haircuts given by my harried mother, who focused more on her own looks than on those of her daughters.
So my sister and I were left to fend for ourselves. It was a miracle that we even learned how to make a ponytail. Even now, I’m absolutely abysmal at buns and braids. The point is, we were two nerdy girls with messy hair, bad acne, braces, and clothes that never fit right or were in style. We weren’t friendless, not by a long shot, but we were aware that people did (and as adults, we learned they still do) judge us by our looks. So we felt pretty ugly, which is something I know everyone with self-image issues can relate to.
But Anna never made me feel less than beautiful. She never commented on my frizzy hair or clunky braces. She just asked how school was and if I liked what I was learning. And she listened intently as I gushed about books and she snipped away at my hair, nodding and commenting in all the right places. And when I looked up into the mirror with its gilded gold frame, it would be to see her smiling at my reflection and calling me “beautiful.”
Listen here, I am no model. My acne didn’t magically disappear. Those braces were stuck on my face for 2 long years. But I felt beautiful. And that confidence she instilled in me would stay for days and it affected how I talked to people and held myself. It was like power poses – they make you feel like you can tackle whatever challenge is in front of you.
That’s why I always laugh when (rude) people ask girls and women why they wear make-up and do their hair and dress spectacularly if they’re not doing it to impress someone. That’s a stupid question. Sure, sometimes we do want to impress someone. But mostly? Mostly, we are doing it to feel like this. To feel beautiful and good about ourselves for ourselves.
So support your local stores and restaurants. That’s amazing! But also support your local hairdressers and barbers. Because they make people feel beautiful and happy every single day, and help them love themselves in a world where everyone tries to put them down.
Years from now, when I bring my family to visit where I grew up, I'll point to the corner Touch of Beauty was located on and tell them the history of Anna, the woman who taught me how to love myself.
Dziękuję ci, Anna.
