Why You Should Stop Saying "You're Overreacting"
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

Why You Should Stop Saying "You're Overreacting"

This way of treating each other's feelings is poisonous, and it has to stop.

8885
Why You Should Stop Saying "You're Overreacting"
Snorgtees

I'll be transparent with you, internet: I'm a crier. I cry when I'm happy, I cry when I'm sad, I cry when I see a dog, and, most frustratingly, I cry when I'm angry. As you can imagine, this makes it difficult to resolve conflicts while appearing calm. For some reason, I have encountered people that seem to think that the legitimacy of my points and my upset is cut short as soon as my eyes start to water. I've started to notice a troubling trend in the way that conflicts are handled and concerns are addressed by a large chunk of the population. It seems to be very common to tell the person that is the most vocal and obviously upset that they are "overreacting". I understand that I am about to bring about some accusations that I am overreacting to the very concept of overreaction, but I don't care. This practice makes me extremely upset.


There is a quote from Louis C.K. that I think of on a weekly basis: "When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.". The reality of the situation is, that while someone might seem like they are reacting in a more extreme way than you would, it isn't your place to tell them that. You're not their therapist, and you have no idea what kind of baggage a person is carrying around with them or how heavy it is weighing on them. People don't exactly walk around with "I have depression" written on their forehead, or a helpful button that says "Ask me about my PTSD". Don't presume to know why a person feels the way they do. Yes, there is such a thing as a genuine overreaction. For example, if someone sets your house on fire because you didn't give back the pencil you borrowed, that is a little over-the-top. However, if someone is just crying or upset when you think that they shouldn't be, that is absolutely not your call.

To all of my fellow criers out there who have been accused of being too sensitive: you are valid. Your hurt feelings don't invalidate you, and you aren't a bad person just because you don't keep your cool under stress. You aren't "overreacting", you're just reacting. This is me validating you, and validating your feelings. There is nothing wrong with being a little fragile sometimes, and everyone responds to stressors differently. Don't be ashamed of your vulnerability, and don't let anyone undermine your genuine hurt feelings with that lazy excuse. Your reaction is part of your unique human experience, and it is no one's business to tell you how to feel.


Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

If there's one thing I'm absolutely terrible at, it's giving myself grace. I'm easily my own worst critic in almost everything that I do. I'm a raging perfectionist, and I have unrealistic expectations for myself at times. I can remember simple errors I made years ago, and I still hold on to them. The biggest thing I'm trying to work on is giving myself grace. I've realized that when I don't give myself grace, I miss out on being human. Even more so, I've realized that in order to give grace to others, I need to learn how to give grace to myself, too. So often, we let perfection dominate our lives without even realizing it. I've decided to change that in my own life, and I hope you'll consider doing that, too. Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we're becoming. As you read through these five affirmations and ways to give yourself grace, I hope you'll take them in. Read them. Write them down. Think about them. Most of all, I hope you'll use them to encourage yourself and realize that you are never alone and you always have the power to change your story.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

Breaking Down The Beginning, Middle, And End of Netflix's Newest 'To All The Boys' Movie

Noah Centineo and Lana Condor are back with the third and final installment of the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series

298623
Netflix

Were all teenagers and twenty-somethings bingeing the latest "To All The Boys: Always and Forever" last night with all of their friends on their basement TV? Nope? Just me? Oh, how I doubt that.

I have been excited for this movie ever since I saw the NYC skyline in the trailer that was released earlier this year. I'm a sucker for any movie or TV show that takes place in the Big Apple.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

4 Ways To Own Your Story, Because Every Bit Of It Is Worth Celebrating

I hope that you don't let your current chapter stop you from pursuing the rest of your story.

187577
Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

Every single one of us has a story.

I don't say that to be cliché. I don't say that to give you a false sense of encouragement. I say that to be honest. I say that to be real.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

How Young Feminists Can Understand And Subvert The Internalized Male Gaze

Women's self-commodification, applied through oppression and permission, is an elusive yet sexist characteristic of a laissez-faire society, where women solely exist to be consumed. (P.S. justice for Megan Fox)

90723
Paramount Pictures

Within various theories of social science and visual media, academics present the male gaze as a nebulous idea during their headache-inducing meta-discussions. However, the internalized male gaze is a reality, which is present to most people who identify as women. As we mature, we experience realizations of the perpetual male gaze.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

It's Important To Remind Yourself To Be Open-Minded And Embrace All Life Has To Offer

Why should you be open-minded when it is so easy to be close-minded?

284646

Open-mindedness. It is something we all need a reminder of some days. Whether it's in regards to politics, religion, everyday life, or rarities in life, it is crucial to be open-minded. I want to encourage everyone to look at something with an unbiased and unfazed point of view. I oftentimes struggle with this myself.

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

14 Last Minute Valentine's Day Gifts Your S.O. Will Love

If they love you, they're not going to care if you didn't get them some expensive diamond necklace or Rolex watch; they just want you.

171209

Let me preface this by saying I am not a bad girlfriend.

I am simply a forgetful one.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

10 Helpful Tips For College Students Taking Online Courses This Semester

Here are several ways to easily pass an online course.

113912
Photo by Vlada Karpovich on Pexels

With spring semester starting, many college students are looking to take courses for the semester. With the pandemic still ongoing, many students are likely looking for the option to take online courses.

Online courses at one time may have seemed like a last minute option for many students, but with the pandemic, they have become more necessary. Online courses can be very different from taking an on-campus course. You may be wondering what the best way to successfully complete an online course is. So, here are 10 helpful tips for any student who is planning on taking online courses this semester!

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

Take A Look At The Extravagant Lane Woods Jewelry Collection For Valentine's Gift Ideas

So if you are currently looking to purchase jewelry for yourself or as a romantic gift for your S.O., you should definitely look at the marvelous and ornately designed Lane Woods Jewelry collection

334405

Just like diamonds are a girl's best friend, so are pearls, rubies, gold, emeralds, and any type of luxurious jewelry you can get your hands on! A woman is incomplete without a piece of jewelry on her and it is a gorgeous accessory required for all occasions. So if you are currently looking to purchase jewelry for yourself or as a romantic gift for your S.O., you should definitely look at the marvelous and ornately designed Lane Woods Jewelry collection.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments