“You are altogether beautiful, my darling. There is no flaw in you.”
–Song of Solomon 4:7
Your mom tells you it is because you are too good for everyone. You joke, “This is why I am single” after doing something ridiculous. Your family asks you why a “pretty thing like you” does not have a boyfriend. We have all been there, ladies, and it is not fun. However, no matter how many times you tell yourself you do not need someone, something always slips into the back of your mind telling you it is because no one cares enough to get to know you. You think it is because you are not worth getting to know. Besides, what is so special about you? You have also decided that maybe you are too difficult and that your standards are too high for any person to meet the requirements you have set.
Nothing could be farther from the truth. You set requirements for someone you want to share your life with because of that exact reason- you are sharing your life them. No one is worth you compromising who you are or what you believe in.
So first thing’s first, no one completes you. You are a beautiful individual with so much to offer and having a significant other does not give you worth. What gives you worth and makes you complete is using your God-given talents to the best of your ability and creating solid morals and ground rules for yourself. You need to have yourself in order before you can even begin to think about investing in someone else’s life.
Second thing, do not settle for anything less than what you deserve, no matter how long it takes. You are worth more than the guy that does not text you back after three days have gone by. You are worth more than the person that only talks to you when they are bored or has nothing better to do. Stop checking his Facebook to see if he posted something when he does not text you back. Stop checking your Snapchat story to see if he has viewed it yet. Someone who does not desire to pursue you actively does not deserve to be at the forefront of your mind every second of the day. Find the person that will jump on a plane and fly across the country only to get to see you for ten minutes. Find the person that no matter how many times you tell them you are not interested keeps pursuing you anyway because they have a gut feeling you might be too invested in someone wrong for you to see.
Lastly do not, under any circumstances, lower your standards because of someone you just KNOW is perfect for you. If he is not willing to honor you or the decisions you have made about what you are passionate and care most about, he does not deserve the fantastic person that you are.
Instead of focusing on finding someone, stressing, and filling your mind with negatives, focus on making you the best you that you can be. Go on that run that you have been telling yourself you need to go on or order that pastry that you have been eyeing at Atlanta Bread Company for a couple of weeks now. Call your mom that you probably have not talked to in a week or take the time to text your friend that you have not seen in a few months. Your life should not start when you “finally” get in a relationship. Your life begins when you decide to take the time to figure out who you are, what you want, and how you can live your life to your fullest potential. So while you are doing things that make life enjoyable and that make you happy, take a second to remember that you are SO worth loving.
So stop waiting for that “special someone” to start your life, your life has already started, and you may be missing it. You are valued, loved, and accepted just as you are. Make sure you can create your own joy without someone creating it for you.
Enjoy your life… but do not forget to always keep a squinted eye out for the boy that will go cross-country to win your heart.
