Studying abroad was the most life-changing, defining, educational experience I have ever had in my life. I made new friends, gained new perspectives and went on the adventures of a lifetime. The only downfall of studying abroad is the fact that eventually, after a month, a semester, or maybe even a year, it has to come to an end. Professors and students who had previously been abroad warned us about reverse culture shock, but no one could have truly prepared me for the mental and emotional hardships that would come when I arrived back to the United States after a semester in Valencia, Spain.
Although I was fully aware of this concept known as “reverse culture shock,” I did not think that it would apply to me. Of course I would assimilate back to my own culture. Of course my family and friends would want to hear all about my travels. Of course they would understand that I was sad to leave my new home, and be supportive of my transition back to the United States. It never hit me that these people who I love and care about wouldn't be able to even begin to relate to my life across the ocean, even if they had the best of intentions.
When I came home, I was “welcomed back to reality” by family and friends. What in the world do they mean, I wondered, perplexed. During my first several weeks back in the states, I heard my experience referred to as a “semester-long vacation,” “break from reality” and a “non-stop party.” I was very hurt that some of the people I loved were able to belittle and simplify my experience like that, the world I lived in for the first half of my year.
At first I was very angered by this, and I avoided talking to the people around me at home because I felt betrayed and misunderstood. How could somebody even fathom telling me that the most authentic experience of my life wasn’t truly real? Instead, I was in constant contact with my friends from Valencia, the people who were kind and understanding as I struggled to readjust to a life that now seemed foreign.
I stayed angry for awhile after returning home and even struggled with feeling depressed. I felt alone, and I didn’t know how to express my feelings with words. I still haven’t found a way to make people feel what I felt during my time in Europe. I can only encourage people to find out for themselves.
What I do know is that studying abroad was the most genuine reality I have ever been blessed with in my life, and anyone who claims otherwise is horribly mistaken. Just because my reality during my semester as an international student was drastically different than anything I have experienced in the states, I was able to create a wonderful life for myself, a life that was more fulfilling than anything I have felt before. I went to class, I tutored, I made friends, I made mistakes, I explored, I accomplished things I never imagined I would, I learned endlessly about myself and the world around me. Studying abroad was my reality. For a brief time in my life, it was my world.
So to anyone who is supporting a loved one coming back from abroad, I encourage you to think about how that person is feeling before you make any assumptions. Just because their reality was different than yours, doesn’t make it any less real. Their experiences are valid, as are their feelings and new ideas. Just because they’re coming home, doesn’t mean they’re going to have the same thoughts and opinions as before. They may not fit back in the same place of the community as when they left. However, they are not daydreaming, they are not fantasizing and they do not need to “snap back to reality.” Their reality has been altered and will remain that way for good. Studying abroad was their reality, as it was beautifully mine.
