Up until recently, I had never really been the type of girl that trusted her own instinct without asking for someone else’s opinion first. Down to my outfit choices, weekend activities, hair color,and even who I kept around me in my life. While I’ve always been in touch with my emotions (a little too much sometimes), I wouldn’t trust my gut on things when I really should have listened more closely. Because of that, I’d make important choices based on other people’s opinions and in the end, I’d be unhappy and regretful of them. I’d end up not only being mad at them, but mad at myself for listening in the first place. After I let other people persuade me to make decisions I wasn’t happy with enough times, I decided to try something different and listen to my own opinion for a change. And not so surprisingly, things started to work out better for me. My life started to come together in positive ways, and I was happier with the outcomes of my decisions.
I’m not really sure when it began, but other peoples’ opinions of me have always been something that I’ve put high up on my list of things to worry about. Thoughts like: “Did I say something that offended her? Why isn’t he talking to me? What did I do to make her mad now?” ran through my mind constantly — it was super draining. So much so that a few months ago I told myself to stop. I decided that I had enough of worrying about other peoples’ happiness, and needed to start putting that energy towards making myself happy. When I looked in the mirror, all I saw was an unhappy girl who got to that point by letting others tell her how to get there. What I needed to do was take a step back, ask myself where I wanted to go, and then let myself find the way on my own. It wasn’t the easy way, but I knew it’s what I needed to do to get back to who I used to be.
A few months later, I’ve found my way to the place I wanted to go. I’m seriously happier than I’ve been in years. I have a great job and great friends surrounding me. When I look in the mirror, I see me again. I’m no longer engulfed in my mind by a group of people telling me what I should do. When I make a decision, it’s all me. And who I see in the mirror is the strong-minded, stubborn, excited, outgoing and funny girl again. She was always there I guess, she just needed to be found.
Why let other people lead the reigns of your life? It’s your life, right? Your personal decisions, whether persuaded by others or not, affect you and only you. At the end of the day, you’re the one that has to live with them, so make sure they’re the right ones. I could sit here and preach at you all day about this, but I’m being serious. I wish I had someone telling me this same thing a year ago. It’s completely impossible for someone else to know your entire life story. Even if you sat down and told them every single detail — they wouldn’t know it all. They wouldn’t know the thoughts that have run through your mind every second of your life up to that point, the feelings you had, and the unique relationships you have with family, friends and loved ones. They aren’t you; so don’t let them act like they are. Like me, it’ll change the path of your life for the better.
