I’m not talking about walking on dark streets at night or jumping off of a building, here. No. I’m talking about doing things that make you less-than-confident. And so now you’re probably asking, “Why would I want to beat myself up emotionally and risk failing or looking stupid?” Because, my friend. We have this inherent fear. We fear being vulnerable and showing too much of ourselves. We never let ourselves think independently and discover what we like to do and what we think of a situation. Half the time, we live our lives on auto-pilot, and we end up as a compilation of our surroundings instead of a unique and flourishing individual. You’re never going to get over the fear of failing, because it is a part of who we are as humans. As you push yourself to do more, your list of fears will only grow. But, if you want to become a more independent version of yourself, you have to start somewhere. And that is why; I propose that you do more things that scare you.

It will look different for everyone. Think of the things that would make you feel uncomfortable and socially awkward. For me, this would be things like going to a movie by myself and eating dinner in a restaurant without looking at my phone. I don’t like staying at hotels by myself and I don’t like not having plans with a human at some point during the day. And, it scares me when I don’t use my phone all day. I depend on other people to make me feel sane and remind me who I am. And, there’s nothing wrong with that. But, these things can also become a crutch.

If you constantly are relying on other people to tell you who you are, you will never truly get to know yourself. That’s why you should think about the social situations that scare you. Often, these are thing things you feel weak in. These are the times where you lack confidence in yourself. When you start to do the things that scare you, you begin to think more independently. You become aware of your own opinions and more importantly, why you think that way. You also become more aware of those around you. You will be able to sort out the genuine people from the fake people in your life.

Doing things that make you feel vulnerable expose strengths you never knew that you had. You unleash a confidence that you may have never tapped into and find new aspects of yourself. You begin to understand and further appreciate yourself for who you are and how you were created. Just as failure can lead to greatness, doing things that make you feel scared can end up making you feel more confident than you ever knew you could be.

Take the step. Face the fear. Free fall into a more independent version of you.