When I was in high school I was voted the high school superlative: “Mouth of the South”
Basically, a funny title for someone who talked a lot, and usually was heard way before they were ever seen.
That was me.
I talked so fast and could be heard miles away and somehow I always knew what was going on with everyone. I had been that way since I was a child. I wanted to know everything, I wanted to know everyone, and I wanted them to know me. Growing up, I would ask everyone 100 questions, and I never met a stranger.
When I went moved to college as a freshman, something changed. I’m not sure when or how, but I had lost my voice.
Of course, physically it was still there, but it lacked strength, volume, and fearlessness. It lacked individuality. I used to be able to speak my mind and my heart and let myself be seen (and heard) but now, nothing. I simply blended in, stayed to myself, and mindlessly agreed to whatever everyone else was saying.
During the first semester of my freshman year, I was vastly different than who I had been a few months earlier. I was social, yes, but my voice was still gone. I didn’t express my opinions, I didn’t say what I meant, I didn’t dare to be different, I didn’t dare to be myself
18 year- old year me had talked myself into thinking no one would like me and that no one cared what I had to say. I was 1 girl out of 25,000+ students. It wasn’t high school anymore, it was college, and there just simply wasn’t room for my ideas or voice at college, because what did it matter? People did research at college, they invented things, they made differences, they weren’t voted Mouth of the South in high school.
Nonetheless, I survived the year. I aimed to do what I had seen in the movies-I made friends, I passed my classes, I went out to parties. By sophomore year, I was still going through the motions.
Soon after the new school year began, I met a very special person when I decided to take a risk and interviewed for an opportunity to join a new organization on my campus. After just a few minutes of me meaninglessly reiterating what I thought they wanted to hear, the interviewer stopped and looked at me and said:
“Honey, I can tell you have a lot to say and I want you to learn how to say it.”
I think I just stared at her for a minute. I was amazed and both so shocked and thankful that she saw right through me, she saw that I was hiding and holding back.
Maybe not in that exact moment, but something clicked for me. I was enough, my voice was there and it needed to be heard. My ideas, my opinions, my presence, they were all significant. There was work to be done, and it was up to me to make sure my voice echoed.
I had a lot to say, that special person was right. And I was damn sure ready to learn how to say it. And I did.
I now am creepily approaching my senior year of college and I can confidently say I found my voice, and I learned how to use it. My voice is loud, strong, and fearless. It speaks even when it feels silenced, it stands up for people, for ideas, and for what is right.
3 years later and my voice leads people, my voice comforts and defends people, and most importantly my voice speaks for
m y s e l f.
We get lost sometimes, ya know, life gets so loud that suddenly we hear nothing at all, not even ourselves. Just remember, you have a voice in there, it needs to be heard. You have a lot to say, and trust me when I say, you need to learn how to say it - and please know, we all want to hear it. Your opinions and your ideas- they matter. They are important, simply because you said them.
Be brave in who you are and what you have to say. Find your voice, learn how to use it, and never look back. I’m so glad I did.
