Being the bigger person. It's a lesson we're taught at a very young age. It's often accompanied by, "Life's just not fair sometimes." Being an older sister, I heard these words often. Why did I get all the blame when it was really my three year-old sister who broke that jar or spilled food all over the floor? Because I was older. I had to take responsibility. I had to be the bigger person.
It's all about karma, right? Or is that just what everybody tells you, so that being the bigger person doesn't suck so much? You have to suck it up so somebody else can get their way, and you'll be better off for it in the end. But will you?
I have a hard time biting my tongue and hiding my disdain. If I'm annoyed, angry, pissed, happy, excited, or elated, you'll know about it. However, I also care about others' feelings to a nearly stupid degree, and am often the one to defer to other people. Be the bigger person, if you will.
Every time I am the bigger person, a little voice in my head says, Why? The number of times other people do that for me are very slim to none. Why do I have to be the bigger person? Why do I have to compromise what I want to do, eat, and see for someone else? Why are that person's feelings and opinions more important than mine? We're both people on this planet. My feelings are just as valid as anyone else's. Why am I always the bigger person?
Every now and again, I snap. Or, I think about snapping. It would be so easy. Other people do it all the time. Why do I feel so guilty about it?
There's something to be said about unapologetically not giving a crap. Being the bigger person is overrated, and exhausting. I can't think of one legitimate reason as to why you should ever have to compromise how you feel, or what you want to do simply to give way to someone else. Because it's not worth it. That's what I often say to myself in my head. It's easier that way. It's useless to waste energy arguing and fighting when you can just be the bigger person. I can use that energy for school, or writing, or finding new music on Spotify, or just about anything.
No one really benefits from petty arguments. And no one really wants to be friends with that person who's always starting petty arguments. However, sometimes you need to be that friend -- for your own mental sanity, and everyone else's sake. Because sometimes being the bigger person is just not what it's cracked up to be. It's just not worth it. And that's totally OK. That's normal and valid. Constantly letting other people get the better of you and decide your life for you is no way to live. Sometimes, you need to take the reins. Write your own story. Be the smaller person. You need to stop "taking one for the team," and take one for yourself.
