Let’s face it. Reading uncreative nonfiction can be quite dry. As dry as a bone. Speaking of bones, I have a bone to pick with unimaginative writers. Do they actually think about their readers? Have they forgotten that people actually read what they write? We should teach them a lesson. Here’s what we do: write nonfiction so creatively that others will become jealous of us and want to do the same thing. It’s that easy!
So now that we’ve changed the future of nonfiction writing (you’re welcome!), we should answer the question: Why write, period? We write periods to complete a sentence. Nobody likes an unfinished thought. We hate cliffhangers. Yes, I am including those who risk their lives by dangling on a cliff. Did anyone ask you to be a daredevil? No, I didn’t think so. Oh yes, back to writing. Writing can have a lot of beneficial effects on your life. It betters your ability to articulate your thoughts, it can be therapeutic, and you force people to listen to you. If you are anything like me, you may have the internal want for other’s attention. With writing, you are practically forcing others to take time out of their precious day to focus on your thoughts (which are also precious).
Essentially, everyone’s voice needs to be heard. Even if it’s annoying or a bit nasally. Whether you agree or disagree on their viewpoint does not determine if they are allowed to write or not. I mean, isn’t that the whole point of free speech? If everyone has the right to be heard, why bother silencing others?
At this point, you may be asking yourself who or what you should write about. I would understand if your immediate thought would to be write about me, seeing that I am so awesome. But I don’t think you have enough information about me. You may think you’ve gotten me figured out, but there are things about me that are super secretive. Like, how is it biologically possible to be this attractive? Or, how many one-hundred dollar bills do I have in my wallet this very minute? None. The answer is none.
If you think of it, who else would come up with those examples? I’m not saying I am such a unique original writer for coming up with those jokes, but the only person who knows my style best is me. What I am trying to say is that the person who is best equipped in writing about Michael Stilson, is Michael Stilson. That is why creative nonfiction can be so fun. I can tell truths about myself, but in an interesting and funny way. A way that is funny to me at least. Who cares if no one laughed at my jokes? All that really matters is if I am having a swell time or not. As for my readers/fans/admirers/stalkers, if they like it they like it. If they don’t, they don’t. There is only so much I can do to please the common folk (i.e. you…no offense).
To conclude, I can look towards the future. What types of creative nonfiction can I write? I would love to write a memoir. But aren’t those reserved for celebrities and really important people? How can I, a wannabe celebrity living the life of a simpleton student, get his word out to the public? I suppose I can resort to self-publication or just writing in a really awesome man-journal. While my future endeavors may be unclear, my intentions are much clearer. I intend to constantly record my experiences through writing. To inspire my students to write in all styles and genres of writing. I intend to tell lame jokes to get others to laugh, smile, and hopefully give me money in return. I intend to always intend. To have a focus, a prose, and an idea to depict and analyze within my writings. I intend to end this essay abruptly.
