We have all experienced it -- the sudden shock to your fingertips when you go for a handshake or a hug, or touching a doorknob and suddenly making your hair stand on end. Static electricity is no one's friend, and especially not in the winter time.
Some of us are blessed with being naturally neutral, and only seem to remain possessed by a charge for a few hours or so. For fine-haired, long-haired ladies like me, however, winter is a vast expanse of static suffering, and we cannot wait until it's over. Here is a list of four things you cannot safely do this time of year.
1. Laundry. Every load contributes to your discomfort, and it starts with the first batch towards the end of fall. You unload your fresh, warm clothes from your dryer, ready to fold, and suddenly you feel it -- you've been charged. And it is not the same charge you feel in the summertime; that vanishes in hours. This one is here to stay. Every dry heap of clothes from here on out will only make it worse.
2. Pets. You can't not pet them anymore; it's like playing Russian roulette every time you do. You never know when it's coming, but when it does it'll break your heart. Once he's shocked, poor Fido is scared half to death to come near you. Thanks, static.
3. Hair. It is all over your face. Always. What was once a humorous science experiment in middle school is now your miserable life during the winter. Your hair is constantly inches from your head thanks to the added electricity. And the lotion trick? Doesn't work; only makes you feel greasy and charged. There is no worse combination. Don't even get me started on lipgloss. I just don't even deal with it in the winter because I know that my hair will jump straight to the front of my face and stick in it like flies on a wall.
4. Gas. Getting gas when you know you are charged is terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. You never know when that horror story of the guy who got gas while charged and started a fire will be you. No, thanks, I'll just walk all winter.
There is really not much we can do about this misfortune. I wish you all the best in your static-battling endeavors through these next cold months.
