I have always been a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. But what happened this weekend was so much more than I could have ever imagined. Talk about God's timing! Walking in with no expectations for this retreat was definitely worth it. I have gathered that when you make yourself vulnerable and really open up as much as possible, you always get the most out of those situations. And that’s what I have been doing a lot lately. I care a little less about the end result, and more about living my life. I don’t know what my vocation while be, I think one day I will get married, become a wife, and mother. But until that happens, I am realizing what's important to me in terms of a relationship. I am realizing that making myself vulnerable has only brought me the greatest opportunities. Not only meeting new guys, but also opportunities like going on this retreat.

So why did I come to the Cabins, you ask? I could easily tell you that before I came to the Olmsted Camp site all I knew was that I was extremely disappointed in myself for my actions over the last year. So disappointed in fact, that at times I felt depressed and didn’t wanna look at myself in the mirror. It was a new personal low for me, and I don’t wish that feeling upon anyone. I heard about the retreat, and was encouraged to attend by the amazing staff who happened to be friends of mine already. The theme of this retreat was Romans 5:8; “I loved you at your darkest.”I know how hard it is to believe that someone can love you even when you don’t love yourself. But when you love someone you love them flaws and all.

I think I was like a Phoenix before this retreat. I was waiting to die into ashes and be reborn from them. I came out of this retreat like a new person. Sure I have some bad days like today where I go back to my old self again, but it’s different for once. Different because I have found more people that will bring me not only closer to God, but are truly there for me. We did a trust exercise twice, and the first time it's hard to trust the people you just met. However by the end of the weekend, you trust them and the exercise goes more smoothly than before. I know these individuals are truly there for me because every day there is a message in our group chat saying something along the lines of “thinking of and praying for you all.” I have been on other retreats and experienced the “Jesus high” everyone talks about. But rather than going away after a couple of months, I know this one is going to stay.

I am not that much of a Bible person but if you ever have any time with the Bible, definitely read Ecclesiastes 3 1:8. It’s definitely my favorite, and it simply says “For everything there is a season.” And truly there is a season for everything. In order to live our lives to the fullest we need to go through each season no matter how emotionally challenging the situation may be.

Although I can’t say much about what happens on this retreat. I can easily say Knight Awakening II, and the people that were a part of it all allowed me to bounce back and to find myself again when I was lost. Not many people can say that happens. There is no way I can thank everyone that was a part of this retreat enough.

But the best way to thank them and God for this opportunity is through my actions. I will be that Phoenix inside me, and I will rise from the ashes. I will continue to grow as an individual never forgetting my values ever again. And if I ever lose my way again, the beauty in having faith in God is that you can always come back. You are never abandoned. Look at Jesus, he welcomed in the sinners with open arms. So if you aren’t religious don’t say this all a waste. All you have to do is have the motivation to grow in faith, and as a person. Without the motivation to be a better person, how will you ever become that Phoenix that will rise from the ashes? So I went to the cabins in the snowy Cornwall Woods with no expectations. What I quickly realized was that this was a sign from God to put my life back together. I just needed a weekend “awakening” to realize this.